The Darkest Hour
by Richard Cypher
Summary: Takes place after Christian leaves for the business trip to New York. What if Ana wasn't so lucky when Hyde broke into the apartment at Escala?
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: This is my first Fifty Shades of Grey fic, so here goes!**

Chapter 1

"I think I'm going to head home," I say to Kate as I set down my now empty martini glass.

"Why, we've just got here!" Kate whined childishly. "Ever since you and Mr. Mogul got together, I feel like I never get to see you anymore Ana."

"I know Kate. It's just- I promised Christian I would go straight back to Escala after work." I didn't know I would feel so guilty about not following orders.

"Controlling fucker, isn't he?" She said irritably, taking another sip of her drink.

I sigh._ She has a point,_ my inner goddess admits. My heart pangs when I think of why my fifty is the way he is. "He means well, Kate. I usually ignore half of what he says," I concede to her. "But with everything going on with Jack Hyde, I don't want him to worry any more than he already is."

"I suppose, Steele," Kate huffs. "I'll let you off the hook this time, but one of these days I'm going to have you all to myself and your husband is going to have to deal with it. Capish?" I have to bite my lip to keep from laughing, imagining how Christian would respond to that. "You know, if I knew you were going to run off any marry the first man that took your fancy, I would have had us go drinking more often. I really thought you were pregnant."

I snort and shake my head. "Everyone thought I was pregnant Kate. My mom didn't believe me when I told her I wasn't pregnant." I pick up my purse. "She tried to buy us a bassinet as a wedding gift," I add dryly.

She bursts out laughing. "Are you serious?"

"I wish I wasn't. It was mortifying."

"Well, it gives you a special appreciation for Grace, I suppose," she giggles and takes one last sip of her martini.

"Do you want to come back to the apartment with me? We can watch a movie or something," I offer, standing up. From a few tables away, I notice Prescott and Sawyer make their way over to us.

She shakes her head. "No. If I leave now, I can catch Elliot for dinner." I sigh and my subconscious shakes her head at me. _You're the one who didn't want to go to New York with him,_ she reminds me snidely.

"Are you okay, Ana?" She gives me a worried look as we pay the bartender for our drinks.

"I'm fine Kate. I just feel bad for coming out here when I said I wouldn't."

She rolls her eyes. "You're a woman. You changed your mind. He really shouldn't be that surprised."

"Are you ready to leave, Mrs. Grey?" Sawyer asks hopefully, and I can tell by the tone in his voice that Christian has already talked to him. I mentally groan. _I'm so going to hear about this later… _I nod.

We make our way across the busy bar towards the exit. "I don't know how you put up with him sometimes, Ana. I really don't," Kate tells me quietly. Prescott holds the door for us as Sawyer leaves to get the car. "If Elliot tried to pull that crap with me, he'd be sleeping on the couch."

I shrug. "He just wants to know that I'm safe. Honestly. He looks super controlling from a distance, but really that's all he wants."

Sawyer pulls the SUV around. Prescott opens the door for me and I climb inside. Kate slides in next to me. "He seems very complicated," she says gently, and I can tell she's fishing for information.

I roll my eyes. "You have no idea Kate. So how is Elliot?" I am suddenly thankful that she is so easy to distract.

Kate and I chit chat on the way back to our old apartment and before I know it, we're in front of the apartment. "Don't be a stranger, Ana," She says and pulls me into a hug.

"I won't. Promise," I say back. "Tell Elliot I say hi."

"I will." Kate gets out of the car and waves at me. "Bye!"

My mood turns south as soon as she closes the door. I can't seem to shake this melancholy feeling I've had since fifty left this morning. The fact that he's probably upset with me isn't helping either. "He's already called and yelled at you hasn't he," I ask Sawyer as we pull away from the curb.

"Err, yes Mrs. Grey he did," he says awkwardly glancing back in the review mirror. Prescott stays uncharacteristically silent next to him.

"Why didn't you let me talk to him?"

"He said not to, ma'am."

"Well, be sure to remind him what a good girl I am being next time he calls." I fail to try and keep the irritation out of my voice.

"Yes Mrs. Grey." The rest of the ride back to the apartment is silent. I stare out the window and watch the changing weather as I contemplate the upcoming fight when Christian gets home tomorrow night. I figure he'll calm down by the time he gets back. I've missed hanging out with Kate so much, that right now the argument seems worth it.

My stomach grumbles uncomfortably and I realize I haven't eaten anything since breakfast. I rifle through my purse looking for one of those granola bars Mrs. Jones packed for me this morning and I see the red blinking light on my blackberry. _Shit! Christian! _ I fumble with the phone trying to turn it on. Five missed calls, a text and an email all from fifty. I open up the email with a grimace.

**From:** Christian Grey

**Subject:** Angry. You've not began to see angry.

**Date:** August 26, 2011 21:14 EST

**To:** Anastasia Grey

Anastasia

I strictly remember hearing you promise that you weren't going to go out with Kate. But yet, when I call Sawyer, there you are drinking cocktails in a bar with her. You have no idea how pissed off I am right now.

I'll see you tomorrow.

Christian Grey

CEO, Grey Enterprises Holdings Inc.

_Shit!_ I really am in trouble. My heart sinks into my stomach. My subconscious glares at me. _I don't know why you are so surprised Steele_, she tells me._ You knew you were asking for trouble when you decided to go out_. I dial his number hesitantly, hoping it's not too late in New York. _What is the time difference anyway?_ It rings once and goes straight to voice mail.

"Christian Grey. Leave a message." _Well that's odd. He never turns his phone off…_

I shake my head to clear my thoughts. "It's me," I say meekly. "I'm still in one piece. I'm sorry. I didn't think. Sawyer and Prescott are driving me back to Escala. I'll call you again when I get home. I Love you, bye." I turn the volume up on my blackberry and stash it back in my purse. Sighing, I turn my head and go back to staring out the window. More than ever, I wish I would have agreed to go with him. I hate being away from him.

We pull into the parking garage at Escala, and Sawyer shuts off the engine. Wordlessly, I climb out of the SUV and follow Sawyer to the elevator. Out of the corner of my eye, I can see Prescott heading to the service elevator. "I'm sorry to get you in trouble Sawyer," I say, once the elevator starts moving.

Sawyer smirks. "It's no problem, ma'am. It's not the first time Mr. Grey's yelled at me and I'm sure it won't be the last."

"He is a handful, isn't he?" I sigh, as the doors open.

I stare blankly at the foyer._ What is wrong with this picture?_ The vase in the center of the foyer is shattered on the floor, chunks of glass and flowers laying everywhere. The table has been knocked over, and the door to the entrance of the great room is dangling precariously from it hinge. I hear Sawyer curse softly next to me.

"I need to get you to the panic room Mrs. Grey," he whispers quickly and pulls his gun out of its holster. It finally dawns on me. _Oh my god! Someone's broken into the apartment_. My subconscious jumps behind a couch. He grabs me by the arm and pulls me behind him. I follow him stunned as he slowly leads to me into the great room. _How could anyone get in here with all the security?_

My stomach falls. Ryan was the only one here. I had Sawyer and Prescott, because I had to go out drinking after I said I wouldn't. I bite my lip. We silently creep through to the kitchen, and I can hear a commotion upstairs. Sawyer stops and tilts his head to listen. We hear a gun shot and then silence. My heart is beating wildly in my chest, and I have to fight back a wave of fear induced nausea. I feel Sawyer tug on my hand, and we're moving again. I can see Taylor's office up ahead as we pass Christian's study.

"We're almost there, Mrs. Grey-"

A thick arm wraps suddenly around my neck and I'm roughly pulled back. I scream . Sawyer whips around and pulls up his gun to aim, but it's too late. I can feel the cool metal of a gun pressed against the side of my head. I start to panic.

"Put the gun down, or say goodbye to Mrs. Grey," A familiar voice warns dangerously and the arm wraps tighter around my neck. His voice sends a shudder of fear down my spine and suddenly I can't breathe. _It's Jack Hyde._ Sawyer hesitates, I can tell he's trying to decide whether or not he can get a shot before… I steel myself and try not to think about the gun plastered to my head. Sawyer scowls and slowly bends over and sets his gun on the floor and kicks it over. "Well, hello darlin'. Miss me?" Jack whispers harshly into my ear. I glue my eyes shut in terror. _Oh god! Christian!_

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	2. Chapter 2

Recap of the last chapter:

"_We're almost there, Mrs. Grey-"_

_A thick arm wraps suddenly around my neck and I'm roughly pulled back. I scream. Sawyer whips around and pulls up his gun to aim, but it's too late. I can feel the cool metal of a gun pressed against the side of my head. I start to panic._

"_Put the gun down, or say goodbye to Mrs. Grey," A familiar voice warns dangerously and the arm wraps tighter around my neck. His voice sends a shudder of fear down my spine and suddenly I can't breathe. It's Jack Hyde. Sawyer hesitates; I can tell he's trying to decide whether or not he can get a shot before… I steel myself and try not to think about the gun plastered to my head. Sawyer scowls and slowly bends over and sets his gun on the floor and kicks it over. "Well, hello darlin'. Miss me?" Jack whispers harshly into my ear. I glue my eyes shut in terror_. Oh god! Christian!

IIIIIIIIIIIII

"I've been dreaming about our reunion for a long time," Jack says huskily as he kicks Sawyers gun back into the kitchen. I can smell the foul stench of his breath on my neck as he does. "Ever since that fucker you call a husband had me fired. Don't worry though, _Mrs. Grey_, he'll get what's coming to him." My eyes fly open. _No! Not Chri_s_tian! _

"He won't let you get away with this, Jack," I snap at him bravely. Sawyer stands stiffly against the wall. "If you so much as touch me, Christian will tear you apart."

"Bitch, I'll do more than touch you." His arm tightens around my neck again, cutting off my airway. I bring my hands up and claw his arm, desperate for breath. Sawyer watches up helplessly, eyes wide. "We have at least six or seven hours before your precious Christian even fucking wakes up. And you know what? When he does, he'll wait a few hours to call you with the time difference. But when he does, you won't answer. So he'll call your security team, and they won't answer either. It'll take at least an hour before he realizes that something is wrong." My vision is starting to blur from lack of oxygen but I continue to struggle against him. "And then add the eight hours it's going to take to get here from New York. Think of all the time we have baby, just you and me…" He loosens his grip on my neck and caresses my cheek with the gun. I go slack against him, gasping for air. I can fear the terror building up inside me. Jack is right. There's no way Christian can get here in time. Even if I could get away from Jack long enough to call him, he's not going to make it. I let out a quiet sob. _Why didn't I go with him to New York?!_

Suddenly Jack tugs me back, and I'm being pulled out of the wide hallway. I throw my feet out in an attempt to stop him_. Anything to slow him down_, I think. _Keep him talking. _That's what Ray used to say. He just grunts at the extra weight; now I'm being dragged. Surely Mrs. Jones made it to the Panic room. She'll have called Taylor and hopefully the police. _Just try to keep him talking. _Sawyer gives us a wide berth as he follows. He glances at his disposed gun longingly, but it's too far away. Instead he returns his gaze to me. "Everything is going to be alright Mrs. Grey," He says sympathetically. "Just do as he says."

I know that he's lying. I don't know how, but I do. Everything is _not_ going to be okay. Suddenly I'm angry. _He's going to rape me!_ I want to scream at him. _Just like he tried to do at SIP! Except this time he has a gun pointed at my head, someone's been shot, Ryan and Prescott are nowhere to be found, and my husband is across the country completely unaware of what's going on!_ But I bite my tongue and take a rattled breath instead.

Jack drags me into the living area and throws me down by the piano. My head slams down against the front piano leg as I fall and everything goes fuzzy. Before everything goes dark I can see Sawyer launching himself at Jack from across the room.

IIIIIIIIIIIII

As soon as I slip into consciousness, I immediately wish I hadn't. My head is pounding a sickening rhythm in my skull, and I have to fight back the urge to throw up. _Jeez… Why do I feel hung over? _My mind fumbles around trying to remember. _Did I go out drinking with Kate?_ I think. _I thought I promised Christian I wouldn't…_ I'm lying on a couch. I crack my eyes open. _I'm in the entertainment room,_ I deduce; I can recognize the blurry navy blue rug. I don't have the energy to move my head to look around.

"She's awake!" Someone says loudly. _Christian?_ My heart flutters. _I thought he was in New York? _ _How long have I been sleeping? _I can hear footsteps coming closer. Something is lingering in my memory but it's out of reach_. I'm missing something, something….. _important_? Yes, yes it's important. I'm missing something that is important. But what is it?_ I make a face. _Something to do with a vase… The vase… in the foyer, it was broken. _ I can mentally see the ceramic shards and red flowers strewn all over the white sandstone floor. _Hmmm… Those flowers look a lot like blood, lying like that. _A pair of black demin jeans enter my blurry field of vision. _When did Christian get black jeans?_ I think distractedly. A hand combs its way through my hair. _Mmmmm… _I like it when he does that.

Out of nowhere, the hand takes a fist of my hair and yanks me up. "Aaaahhhh!" I scream, as I am hauled up into a sitting position. _Christian! That hurts!_ I shout in my head, but for some reason I'm unable to form the words. My head feels like it's on fire, and the constant throbbing gets even stronger. I can feel moisture in my hair. _Am I bleeding?_ Christian puts his face close to mine. I blink several times, trying to focus my blurry vision. With a hand still knotted in my hair, he gives me a rough, wet kiss. I part my lips for him confused, and I can feel my heart jump into my throat. _Something is wrong. Something is very, very wrong. He doesn't taste… right… God something is wrong. _I put my arms against his chest and give him a weak shove, but I realize that my hands are tied behind my back. _What the hell is he playing at!_ The hand in my hair tightens, sending pain down my spine and making me gasp.

"Red," I try to mumble against his tongue that is invading in my mouth. "Red, red, red." _Why isn't he stopping?_ My breath hitches in my throat. The survival instincts Ray instilled in me take over and clamp my teeth down on his lower lip as hard as I can. I can feel blood in my mouth.

"AAARGGGGGHHH! Stupid fucking bitch!" He bellows and backhands me across the face so hard that I'm pushed over face up into someone's… lap? _What the?_

"Ana, are you alright?" Someone asks anxiously, and I confusedly look up at- _Gail?_

My back goes rigid as it finally clicks. Bile rises in my throat, and I can barely contain it. The broken vase, the gun scattering on the floor, the flowers that looked like blood… Everything whooshes into place. _Jack's broken into the apartment_, I explain to myself. _Christian is in New York and he doesn't know._ _Jack wants to rape me to make a point to fifty. Oh God! No!_

The hand finds its way back into my hair and hauls me up, so that I am sitting. With my quickly clearing vision I can finally make out Jack's face. I test the strength of the duct tape wrapped around my wrists. There's no getting out of it. "Good morning, darlin'. We've been waiting for you to wake up." _We?_ I take a look around and try to take in my surroundings.

We're in the entertainment room, just as I thought. Gail is tied up with her hands behind her back next to me. _She was supposed to have made it to the panic room!_ I think desperately. _She was supposed to tell Taylor and Christian what was happening! _ Jack moves out of my line of vision and I can see Ryan and Sawyer tied up on the U bend of the couch to my left. Prescott is slumped against the coffee table, unconscious. "Scoot in closer together," someone barks from behind me. I look back.

Three burly men all dressed in black, and touting guns, stride into the room. I don't know why I'm so surprised. There is no way Jack could have taken on the security team on his own. Two of the men come around and force Sawyer and Ryan down the length of the couch closer to me.

Now that they're closer to me, I can see that both Ryan and Sawyer look worse for wear. I glance down at the improvised tourniquet on Ryan's thigh and I grimace. Here we are in this life threatening situation together and I don't even know the first name of the man whose been injured trying to protect me. He catches my eyes and gives me a white, tight lipped smile. I try to inconspicuously get Sawyer's attention while Jack and his men are turned around, but he ignores me and continues to look straight ahead. In the silhouette of his face, I can see that right eye is swollen shut.

The song _Your Love Is King_ suddenly starts to drift through the room and my attention is brought to the coffee table in front of us. Our cellphones, five in all, are sitting on the table. I'm close enough to read the caller I.D. on my phone, but I know it's Christian and I close my eyes. A pang of sorrow twists its way into my heart. How is my fifty going to deal with this?

Jack takes a seat on the couch opposite us and lets out a hearty laugh. "And so the show begins. Are you ready, Ana? Should we bet on how many phone calls he'll make before he jumps on his plane to come save you?" I can feel Ryan shift next to me, but I just stare at my phone as it goes to voicemail. Seconds later another phone lights up. Jack cocks his head at me. "No? How about a bet on how many times I'll have fucked you by the time he gets here?"

Gail gasps. I lean back against the couch and try not to think. Another phone starts ringing. Jack gets up from his seat and saunters over to me. He crouches in front of me and places his hands on my thighs right under the hem of my skirt for balance. I shudder and close my eyes. "Just imagine how he'll feel when he gets here and realizes that he's already too late." He caresses my cheek. I struggle to keep myself in check. I refuse to respond, I won't give him the satisfaction. Ryan shifts next to me again._ What is he doing?_ "My original plan was just to fuck you and throw you around some. I figured it would be fun to watch him come to terms with it. Watch him figure out that his money and his status can't protect the one thing he cherishes." Another phone goes off. _Five calls._

I try to ignore what he's saying and force myself to focus on the phones as they go off, one by one. But he continues. "Then I would strike again and fuck you again, and again until he went mad." I can see Christian's tortured face burned on the back of my eyelids. _No! Keep counting the phone calls. Eight calls. Don't listen_ I think urgently. Ryan shifts again. Jack's hands move higher up my thighs and I squeeze them closed. "Now that I have you here though, I can't help but wonder what the great Christian Grey will do if I kill you when I'm done with you." He forces them open. _Nine calls… _"He'll probably kill himself, don't you think?" Jack continues. I try to ignore the thought but I can't. I let out a sob. _My poor Christian._ "He will slit his wrists. Or maybe he'll crash that helicopter of his into the side of a mountain so it looks like an accident." The tears are flowing freely. I can't bear to think about it, because deep down I know Jack is right. Christian would rather be dead then live without me. His hand cups my sex from under the skirt and I sob again. _Whatever happens_ I promise to myself,_ I have to stay alive. I can't let Christian hurt himself. I have to fight for him._ "Either way, his world will come crashing down around him. Just like I've planned."

I gasp and my eyes fly open. But it's not from Jack's statement. I can feel the cool metal blade of a pocket knife being drawn across my hand, searching. I bite my lip, my eyes wide and fight the urge to glance at Ryan as he finds and then starts to saw delicately at the duct tape binding my wrist. A huge burst of adrenaline bursts through me. I focus on Jack's smirk. I can't give Ryan away. "You're only missing one thing, Jack," I say. My restraints are beginning

He cocks his head and smiles. "And what is that?" I can feel his finger worming under my panties and stiffen. _Keep him distracted,_ I think.

My hands are free. Ryan shifts the handle of the pocket knife into my hand and I grasp it tightly. I was going to tell Jack that Christian would stop at nothing until he was dead. But now that I have a knife in my hand I'm feeling brave. I steel myself and let out a sigh.

I give the terrible man in front of me a small smile. "Who am I kidding, Jack. I want you." I feel disgusted, but I only one chance. If I can stab him, Jack and his henchmen will be distracted enough so I can make a run for the panic room. Jack smiles and leans in closer and pushes a finger into my sex and I clamp my teeth down on my lip to bite back a scream. "I've wanted you ever since that night at SIP." _Come closer,_ I think. "I wasn't ready that night, Christian was outside the building, but now…" I roll the knife in my hand behind my back, waiting. _Just a little bit closer._

Finally, he leans in close enough, and I lash out. Suddenly, the room erupts in a flash of movement. In the time it takes for my knife to make contact, Ryan and Sawyer are up and jumping over the table at Jack's three henchmen. The knife sinks into Jacks bicep and he screams. I bolt off the couch and make a run for it.

"Fucking whore!" Jack screams, chasing after me. "I'm going to kill you!

I run into the kitchen, and slip on the polished floor. I hit the ground dazed for a split second, before I scramble up. _Shit!_ I think. I've been cornered against the breakfast bar. Jack stalks closer to me, panting, and pulls the pocket knife out of his arm. He throws across the room. I look around me frantically searching for a weapon when I spot Sawyer's gun lying on the floor across the room. He sees it too, and before I know it, we're both diving for it. I tighten my hands around the hilt and flip around to aim, but he's already on top of me. I grip onto the gun for dear life, refusing to let it go, as his hands try to peel my fingers off. He growls and snaps my wrist back. I can hear the bone crack.

"Ahh!" I yell, but I lose my grasp on it. My fight or flight instincts kick in and make another run for the panic room. I risk a glance back at him, and he's aiming the revolver at me. I hear the shot and I slam myself into the wall, trying to get out the target. I scream as the bullet lodges in my side. I bend over in pain but I keep stumbling down the hall. _There's no way I'm going to make it to the panic room now,_ I panic. A thought crosses my mind and I suddenly veer left. Right into Christian's study. I run across room towards the desk.

But I don't make it. Jack leaps onto me and knocks me over. I can feel something crack underneath me. He climbs on top of me and I can smell his putrid breath in my face. "You're such a prick tease, woman. I can't wait to fuck your brains out. Do you think there's a security camera in here?" He asks excitedly. I struggle underneath him, desperately and knee him in the groin. He yells and rolls over, reflexively. I leap up and make another run at the desk. I pull open the drawer and I almost sigh in relief.

Leila's gun is laying on a stack of papers. I quickly reach out for it. My fingers barely skim it, before the entire desk comes crashing down at me. I manage to leap out of the way in time and stumble back against a bookshelf. My hands search desperately behind me looking for something to use as a weapon. Gun shots start going off from the entertainment room. My hand tightens around a bronze book end. Jack makes another run at me and I raise the book end to strike him but he rams my arm against the shelf. He flies into me and we knock down one of the bookcases as we fall, sending books raining down.

"Are you looking for this, bitch?" Jack taunts waving the gun in my face. "Nice try but now we're all alone. He throws it across the room and then descends on me. I struggle against him as he forces up my blouse, but he's too heavy. I manage to get a hand around to try to claw his face, but he backhands me across the face. "Maybe I should take you from behind," Jack whispers into my ear. "I bet that's somewhere even your husband hasn't had you."

"No!" I scream at him. "Go fuck yourself." I try to knee him in the groin again but he blocks it and puts his knee over my leg. Jack wraps his hands around my bra and rents it open. He grins and buries his face in my chest. "No!" I scream again, beating my hands against his chest. He slams his knee into my gut, right over the gunshot wound and I convulse in pain. I bite at his forearm desperately. _This can't be happening. Oh god, please no!_ He slams his fist into my chest and I scream again.

"Don't lie to yourself darlin', you know you'll like it," Jack laughs, reaches down and yanks my panties. I squirm. "I can't wait to be inside you," He says into my ear again. "And feel you squirm that way." I shut down. I can see him pulling his pants down, but I can't look anymore. I give him one last push with everything I have, but it's useless. He's too heavy. He slams my head into the wood floor, and my vision is starting to blur again. I turn over and stare right the photo of Christian and me at my graduation ceremony, that's resting against a pile of papers. The glass is shattered and it's laying sideways. I focus on his face as I cry. _I love you so much, Christian. I'm so sorry._ I'm so engrossed in his face, the hint of a smile ghosting across his beautiful lips, his mercurial grey eyes gazing up at me, that I don't even notice the hands that wrap around Jacks neck as I sink into unconsciousness…

**A/N: A much longer chapter posted this time. Tell me that you think!**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Thanks to everyone for the wonderful reviews! They encourage me to write faster. **

Chapter 3

Christian's POV

"Taylor!" I bark, going through my messages now that we've landed at Sea-Tac.

"Sir?"

"When was the last update from the security team?" I ask, less harshly. It's not Taylor I'm mad at right now. Taylor pulls out his phone and starts searching through it.

I can't believe Ana completely disobeyed me. Actually I can, but that just makes it even more frustrating. All I asked her was to bring Kate to the apartment. _No_ she had to go out drinking, after she promised me she would stay in for the night. I can smell Kavanagh all over this. She is always dragging my wife out and getting her into trouble. I had to leave in the middle of a charity dinner to fly back to Seattle and deal with my errant wife. To say that I'm in a bad mood would be an understatement. I'm fucking furious.

Taylor huffs, bringing me back from my brooding. "Completely worthless, the lot of them," he says grumpily, under his breath. I can tell my foul mood is wearing off on him. "They haven't sent any new updates, Mr. Grey. Why?"

My brow creases. "Ana sent a message saying she was on her way back to Escala and that she would call me when she got home. She never did."

"She probably forgot too, sir. Knowing Ms. Kavanagh, Mrs. Grey had too much to drink."

I nod distractedly. Something doesn't feel right. Ana never forgets to call. The blonde stewardess unlatches and opens the airplane door and hurriedly steps out of my way. I've already yelled at twice during the flight back to Seattle. I dial her number, and exit the plane.

The phone rings and eventually goes to voicemail. "You're breaking a lot of promises today, Anastasia. First you promise to stay in, and then you promise to call me back when you're home safe. My palms are feeling very twitchy, Mrs. Grey, so beware. Bye."

"Would you like me to call one of the boys, sir?" Taylor says as we walk across the tarmac toward the waiting black SUV. "A wake up call in the middle of the night is the least they deserve for slacking on the job."

I give him a crisp nod, and continue going through my messages. Andrea confirming the meeting for the Hong Kong account, Ros asking for an update on the Canadian steel mill deal and a call from Elliot about a family dinner next Saturday.

The worried frown on Jason's face catches my attention, when we finally reach the car. He opens the door for me. "What is it, Taylor."

"Ryan should be on duty tonight, but he's not answering. Neither is Sawyer or Prescott."

My stomach drops. "Something is wrong," I say numbly, climbing in.

Taylor nods and closes my door. "Yes. Something is very, very wrong," He says mostly to himself, as he gets into the driver's seat. I can see him glance at me through the review mirror. "Permission to drive like a bat out of hell, sir?"

I nod stiffly and call Ana again. I swear to god if all this is is a case of lazy security staff, I will fire the lot of them. Taylor turns on the ignition, puts the SUV into drive and lays his foot on the gas pedal. I'm pushed back in my seat.

"What time is it?" I ask.

"1:06, Mr. Grey."

Ana's phone goes to voicemail again. I dial Sawyer. It goes to voicemail too. All of the anger I've had pent up tonight melts into fear. I search through my contacts for Ryan and Prescott. Both voicemail. I look up at Taylor. "Have you called Gail?"

"That's how I know something is wrong sir," he explains, focused on the road. "She sleeps with her phone charging on the end table by the bed. She would have answered." We make a sharp turn and I have to hold my hand out to keep from hitting the door.

I take his word for it; I'm sure he's seen it firsthand. I stare out the window, even though there is nothing to see. It's the middle of night. I call Ana's phone once again, just to hear her voice. _Please let her be alright_. I look at the digital clock on the front console. _1:12_.

"Hello, this is Ana St- err Grey. You've missed me. Just leave me a message and I'll get back to you as soon as I can. Bye." I close my eyes and take a deep breath. Her voice is like a balm to my frayed nerves. I was with her when she recorded this. We were on the yatch somewhere in the Mediterranean. It was just a few days before the fire. I stiffen. _Hyde_, I mentally sneer. _If he's done something to my Ana, I'll kill him with my bare hands. _He has to be the missing piece in this. Why else would the entire security team be out of contact?

Thank god the city is not busy this late at night. I glance at the clock again. _1:19_ it flashes. I notice that Taylor has just run a red light. "Jesus Christ Taylor! We don't want to get stopped by the police," I warn.

Taylor shakes his head. "Actually sir, we want them too. If no one is answering, that means they don't have their phones. No phones means they're not in contact with the police." _Touche,_ I think. "And my gut tells me we might need the extra fire power." I frown deeper. Taylor's gut is rarely wrong. I send another silent prayer that Ana is okay. I will never forgive myself if something happens to her.

At 1:27, we screech into the Escala parking garage. We jump out of the SUV, and I notice with relief that all the cars are here. That must be a good sign. _Right?_ It does nothing to calm my nerves. I head straight for the elevator, but Taylor grabs my arm and tugs me towards the service elevator.

"If something's up, they'll expect us to come up that way." He calls the elevator and gives me a serious look. "It would be best if you stayed down here until I've cleared the apartment, Sir." I give him a glowering look and step into the elevator. He sighs, but follows me in. I type the code and the elevator shoots up. "Follow my lead Mr. Grey. Be silent. Don't do anything unless I tell you too. And If I tell you run or hide, you do it. Clear?" I nod. There is a tense silence hanging in the air as we ride up.

The doors open and I'm immediately assaulted by the sound of gun shots. My knees go weak, and my heart jumps into my throat. _Oh Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck. ANA! _I rush out of the elevator. Taylor swears and chases after me. I fly blindly through the apartment, following the sound. All I can think about is the fact that Ana is in danger. I thank god that we had the panic room built after we got back from our honeymoon. If my security team is worth anything, she's safely nestled between nine inch thick, bulletproof, metal walls. The thought calms me down a fraction, and I slow just enough to let Taylor take the lead.

We step into a nightmare. The floor to ceiling windows in the entertainment room are shattered, letting in a strong, cold wind. There's blood all over the couches. Sawyer is crouched behind the upturned steel coffee table exchanging gun shots with two burly men dressed in black head to toe, who are hiding behind the couch. Prescott is lying unconscious next to him. Ryan is on the rolling around on the floor with another man in a headlock. _Thank god. She must have made it to the panic room in time._

Taylor steps out of the doorway that is our cover and takes a shot at one of the men behind the couch. His buddy looks up surprised and tries to take a shot. Taylor dives behind the large coffee table next to Sawyer, who visibly sags in relief upon seeing him. I see a terrified Gail with her hands tied behind the nearer of the two couches. I charge the couch. Someone takes a shot at me, I can hear a bullet buzz past my ear. I drop to the floor next to her.

"Where's Ana!" I yell over the sound of gunfire.

"She made a run for the panic room, but Jack Hyde went after her," Gail sobs and I pale. "I heard a shot from the kitchen. I don't know what happened."

_Oh God. Please, not Ana. Please let her be alright._ "TAYLOR!" I bellow. "COVER ME!"

I dimly hear Sawyer yell clear before repeated gunshots start going off. I grab Gail's arm and run. "Find somewhere to hide!' I yell at her once we're out of the room. I run wildly to the kitchen. There are three streaks of blood on the polished floor. The terror pushes me to go faster. I can hear Ana screaming from my study. I speed up. Turning left, through the doorway, I sputter to a stop.

It takes only a split second to understand what's going on, before I'm on top of Hyde, and hauling him off of her. I can see he is surprised to see me. He tries to take a swing at me, but I land a punch against his jaw. "BASTARD!" I snarl at him. "What have you done to her!"

He wipes the blood off his lip and smiles lewdly at me as he pulls his pants back up. I hazard a glance at Ana who is lying unconscious on the floor. Her shirt is bunched up at her neck and her bra has been ripped open. I fight back bile. _I'll kill him,_ I think simply. _I will kill him in the most gruesome way possible._ "Only what she had been begging for Grey," he laughs, and my eyes snap back to him. I lunge at him in a blind rage knock him over my desk and onto the floor. I distantly hear his fist connect with my eye socket, but I can't feel it. I can't feel anything but anger right now. We roll across the floor exchanging blows, until something stops me in my tracks. I can hear a wet gurgling sound from the other side of the fallen desk. My eyes widen in terror. _She's choking! Fuck, no please._ Hyde and I make eye contact, sizing each other up. He's on top of me, holding onto the lapels of my dinner jacket.

In a sudden burst of movement, Hyde hauls himself off of me and makes a run for the study door. I want to follow him, I want to tear him to pieces for what he's done. But I hear the gurgling sound again and I scramble back to my injured wife.

I drop to my knees and flip her on her side as she coughs up blood. My eyes search her exposed body, looking for the source. I want to throw up. Her porcelain skin is already starting to bruise all over. "Ana!" I sob and pull her my lap. I close my eyes and rock her against my chest. _This can't be happening. Not again. _I say to myself. I'm hit with a flashback of the crack whore lying dead on that green carpet, and I pull her even closer, wrapping my arms around her slender frame.

I freeze. There's blood all over her back. I look down and see a dark red stain on the wood floor. My control snaps back into place. "TAYLOR!" I start to scream. I pick Ana off the floor and carry her in my arms. She hangs limp against me. "TAYLOR!"


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Christians POV

"I want details, Welch! I want to know who they are, where Hyde found them! Dammit! I want to know what their fucking grandmothers ate for dinner!" I stare blankly at the screen on the wall as Taylor shouts over the phone. _A940001657. Surgery in progress._ "Easier if I brought them in for questioning?! Excuse me for shooting at people who were shooting at me!" He huffs and quiets down as someone walks through the waiting room. "Yes I know… No. She's still in surgery. No one's come out yet. Yeah. Good point. I'll talk to the boss about it later. Keep me posted."

The room is silent once again. I continue to stare at the information screen. _A940001657. Surgery in progress._ "Did you call my mother?" I mutter, barely above a whisper. I can't move my eyes away from those words.

"Yes, Mr. Grey. She's on her way," Taylor responds quietly. "I also got ahold of Mr. Steele and Mrs. Adams. He's driving over right now as well. Mrs. Adams can't make it, she says to keep her updated." I roll my eyes. _Figures_, I think darkly. Her own daughter is in emergency surgery half way across the country and she isn't coming.

"Good thinking. Did you tell them that he…" I can't say it and bury my face in my hands. If I say it, it will make real, too real to deal with right now. _How could this happen?_ I ask myself for the hundredth time. _How could I let him anywhere near my beautiful Ana?_

"No sir, I didn't. I just said there was a break in and she was shot," he says gently. "I figured it wasn't my place to say."

I nod slowly. "Thank you, Taylor. Will you go check on the others for me?"

"I'm the only member of the security team who hasn't been compromised and Hyde is still out there sir. I'd have to take you with me."

I snort. There's no way in hell that I'm leaving this lobby until Ana is out of surgery. "Hyde wasn't after me, Taylor. He knew I was in New York," I say bitterly. "He was after Ana." Taylor gives me a look and I can see that he's holding something back. "What is it?"

Taylor looks away. "I don't know if now is the best time for this conversation, sir."

"Anastasia has been shot and attacked, Taylor. I want to know what you found out!" I say dangerously.

He gives me a sympathetic look. "I haven't been fully debriefed yet sir," he warns. "But from the little I've gotten out of Sawyer and Ryan, he was using Mrs. Grey as an indirect way to get to you. We found a letter in the apartment that he was going to leave for you. Welch is going over it now."

"I want to see that letter tonight," I say quietly and lean back in the uncomfortable chair. Deep down somewhere, I already know Hyde was using Ana to get to me. Years of self-loathing start to creep back up. If it weren't for me, Ana wouldn't be in this situation. She would be safe somewhere here in Seattle… My thoughts are disrupted by a commotion near the entrance to the E.R.

"What do you mean you can't tell me what's happening!" I turn around. Ray is standing at the desk yelling at the reception. "I'm her damn father how much closer to next of kin can I be!" He angrily searches the lobby and spots us. I read the screen again. _A940001657. Surgery in progress._

He storms past the desk and makes his way to where Taylor and I are sitting. _He's going to kill me_. I can't help but think that it is the least I deserve. I promised to protect her and keep her safe. He stops in front of me and his anger sputters out. "What the hell happened to you, son?" Ray asks softly, taking in my appearance. I know I look like shit. My eye is swollen and I probably need stitches for the gash on my cheek. But I've managed to shoo the nurses away from me. I'm not leaving this waiting room. Ray's eyes travel down to my blood soaked dress shirt and he visibly pales. I'd used my jacket to help keep Ana warm – and to cover her up- on the drive to the hospital.

"He got away, but not before I found him," I say simply.

Ray nods approvingly. "Bastard. I hope you got him good. How is she?"

"I don't know. We haven't gotten any updates," I add worriedly.

"I brought a change of clothes that might fit you." Ray gestures at my ruined shirt.

I shake my head. "I'm not leaving this waiting room until she is." _Me not being there is what got her into trouble in the first place._ "I need to be here if something happens."

Thankfully Ray doesn't argue. He pulls up a chair and sighs. "Whatever it was that happened, it wasn't your fault, you know."

I shake my head. "No Ray it was. I was the one who wanted her to stay home. If she'd gone out drinking with Kate, none of this would have happened." I cover my face with my hands and let out a sob. My self-control has gone out the window. "Hyde would have broken into an empty apartment. She could die, all because of me!" I duly note that the E.R. waiting room is starting to fill up with people.

Ray stiffens, but pats my shoulder. I flinch but don't stop him. It reminds me of Ana. _My beautiful, loving, darling wife._ "Is it that bad?" he asks Taylor, who I assume nods because I hear Ray whisper "sweet mother of Jesus."

We fall into an intense silence and I let my mind drift to our wedding day. I remember watching her walk down the aisle and wondering what I had done to deserve someone so amazing. She was so happy, so alive. I sob again. And again. And again. _For her to go out like this…_ It isn't fair. She's only 21. She's just barely graduated college. _We haven't even been married two months!_ I think bitterly. I was going to show her the world. Give her a family. We were supposed to grow old together, for god sake. When I promised '_till death do us part,' _I never thought it would mean this. Why would fate give me such a precious gift, just to take it away?

I try to imagine Ana in her wedding dress, but all I can see is her lying there on the floor, with her bra ripped apart and her skirt bunched around her hips. When I try to think about her soft her skin is under my hands or the scent of her hair, I see the dark purple bruises; the blood caked in her glorious brown locks. Will these be the last memories I have of the love of my life? Of her bleeding out in my arms? I think about yesterday morning before I left for New York. If I knew it could be the last time we would be together, I would have made love to her, make her realize just how much she means to me. My Ana, my more, who taught me that I could be loved… There is no way I can live without her. I'll find Hyde, I'll make him suffer. I'll kill him with my bare hands. But after that?

Someone wraps their arms around me and I look up. Mia stares down at me, wide eyed. Mia, the only other person in the world that I have ever let touch me. How fucked up does that sound? "Everything is okay Christian," she says, pulling me into a tight hug. "Ana's a fighter. She'll make it." She was a fighter. But now, after what Hyde's done to her, is she still willing?

"If everything was okay Mia, I wouldn't be sitting here waiting for someone to tell me whether or not I'm going to be a widow!" I sob. She looks at me, stunned. I don't think anyone in my family has ever seen me this emotional.

"Oh darling!" My mother says and shoos Mia away from me. She kneels down in front of me. "Has anyone come out to talk to you yet?" I shake my head and glance up at the screen. _A940001657. Surgery in progress._

"Please," I whisper. "Please find out what is happening, mom. She's been in surgery for over two hours."

She raises her hand to touch the gash on my cheek. "I will, darling. But this needs to be stitched up. And we need to find you a change of clothes."

Ray sighs next to me. "I've already tried to talk him into it, Grace."

I shake my head. "I'm not leaving this lobby until I know she's alright," I say stubbornly and wipe my eyes.

"I will get someone to come out here and give us an update, but Christian Trevelyn –Grey you will get cleaned up straight after," she scolds me. "Sometime today your wife is going to wake up and expect to see you at her bedside. You'll give the poor girl a heart attack looking like this."

"I'm not leaving, Mother," I repeat tiredly. "My Ana is back there somewhere, cut open on a table. And she's like that because I wasn't there. I'm not leaving her-"

"Family of Anastasia Grey?" I hear someone say and I shoot up out of my chair.

IIIIIIIIIIIII

The first thing I notice is how frail and lifeless she looks. She is covered in wires and skin is paler then I've ever seen it. I bend over and tenderly place a kiss on her blue tinged lips. I caress the bandage wrapped around her head. _My Ana…_ There is tape over her eyes and I look up at my mother who has stepped back to give me a few minutes. "Can I take this off?" I ask her quietly.

Mom looks up from Ana's chart and gives me a soft smile. "Yes dear. It was just to keep her eyes closed in surgery." I nod and reach over and slowly take off the tape, as if she might break. Childishly, part of me expects her to look up at me with her bright blue eyes, but she doesn't.

I pull up a chair and sit next to her bed, caressing her arm. A surge of anger runs through me. Hyde will pay for what he's done. I will to spend the rest of my life and every dollar I've ever made, looking for him. I will keep Ana safe if it's the last thing I do.

**A/N: Gah! Such a heart wrencher to write! I can see you are all worried about whether or not Hyde raped Ana. I wanted to make you wait until the next chapter to find out (yes, it's been very unclear on purpose) but I suppose I'll give it away: Christian got there before Jack Hyde had a chance, he just doesn't know it yet. So no rape. Everyone can take a deep breath!**


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

**A/N: Sorry for how long it took me to write this chapter everyone. I got hit with strep throat, and let me tell you codine cough syrup and I do not get along very well. My goal is to upload a chapter about every week, so we'll see if I can stick to that deadline. But without further ado, the next chapter!**

_Everything hurts._ That's the first thought I can manage through the haze. There is a dull throbbing at the back of my head. I lift up my heavy eyelids and squint at the bright lights. I'm in a hospital bed, I realize. _How did I get here?_ I wonder sluggishly. The last I remember I was in the apartment with Hyde. I shudder at the thought and try to block it out. _There's no use thinking about it now. It's over. Christian saved me_. I go back to trying to calculate my injuries. My lungs ache when I breathe, and there's something solid around my left arm. I can feel an I.V. in my other arm as well. But most of all, my side feels like it's on fire. I feel like I've been hit by a bus. Thinking back to my own personal hell at Escala, I wish I _had_ been hit by a bus. I wiggle my toes and I'm vaguely aware of something heavy sitting on my thigh. It takes a moment to come up with the energy to investigate.

Christian is bent over in a chair next to my bed with his head resting on my leg, asleep. I note that he is wearing one of Ray's plaid, flannel shirts, but I'm too tired to try and figure out why. Slowly I reach out to touch his face. He's been crying. I trace my fingers around the bandage on his cheek and his black eye. _Oh my. What happened to you, fifty?_

He stirs and opens his eyes. He blinks up at me a few times and gives me a small smile. "Ana," He says. "Thank god. You're awake." I can see the exhaustion and the relief on his face. "I was so worried, Baby." I run my hands through his soft copper hair and smile.

"Christian," I croak. There is an uncomfortable tube in my throat. I look up at him in confusion.

Christian pulls his chair up closer to the head of the bed and places his hand on my face. "It's a nasogastric tube. It's to keep you from feeling nauseous," he explains. "The doctors want to keep it in for a few days. _A few days? How long am I going to be stuck here?_

I swallow awkwardly. "My side hurts," I mumble mostly to myself.

"You were in bad shape when Taylor and I got you here." He caresses my cheek. "The bullet nicked your spleen and they had to take part of it out," he explains. "That's why you have tube."

"And everything else?" I ask.

"You have a nasty concussion, your lungs and a few of your ribs are bruised, and a broken arm and wrist," he tells me. _That explains the pain everywhere…_

"What about everyone else? Are they alright?"

"Yes, they'll be fine. Don't worry about them," he says gently. "I need you to focus on getting better."

I sign in relief. _Thank goodness everyone is alright,_ I think relieved. I can't imagine how terrible I would feel if Ryan or Sawyer died trying to protect me. It would even kill me if something happened to Prescott, even though I never cared for her. "I thought you were in New York," I whisper hoarsely.

He intertwines my hand in his. "When I found out you'd gone out with Kate, I was so angry at you. I cancelled the trip and flew back here," he says quietly, not looking at me, and caressing my hand.

"I'm in a lot of trouble, aren't I?"

He shakes his head. "If you'd stayed out at that bar with Kate, Hyde would have broken into an empty apartment," he says, regretfully. "It was my overprotectiveness that almost got you killed," he adds quietly, focusing on my hand.

"No it wasn't," I say. "There's no way we could have known he was going to break into the apartment, Christian."

He says nothing and doesn't make eye contact. "When we landed at Sea-Tac, Taylor and I knew something was wrong. No one was answering their phones. I was so worried." I sigh and close my eyes at the unbidden memory. His hand tightens around mine. "We got back to the apartment but I was too late. I'm so sorry."

"Too late for what, Christian? I'm right here, I'm okay."

He shakes his head and continues to stare at the wall. "I pulled him off of you, but your clothes…" _Oh._ His breath hitches and he starts kissing my hand. I want to touch him but I'm too weak to lift the cast. "I'm so sorry, Ana. I promised to protect you. I-"

"Christian."

He doesn't hear me. "I should never have gone to New York."

"Christian!" I say forcefully, before I'm interrupted by a very painful bout of coughing. I gasp. _Ouch, that hurts!_

"Baby, take shallow breaths. Your lungs are bruised," he reminds me.

"He didn't, Christian," I whisper, and start to cry. "I was so afraid that he was going to. But he- he never got that far."

He visibly sags in relief and kisses my hand gently. "Really?" I have to force myself not to think of Hyde's weight on top of me, pinning me down.

I nod slowly. "You saved me." He reaches up and brushes his fingers through my hair. I'm still awed at how much this man loves me. Me, plain and ordinary Ana compared to him, the stunningly handsome billionaire. _Speaking of my mercurial fifty,_ _what did he do to Hyde?_ The thought sends a twinge of worry down my spine. I hope he hasn't done anything stupid. "What happened with Hyde after you got home?"

"Like I said, I pulled him off of you. We got into a fight. But he made a run for it," he says regretfully.

_He got away?_ I think, terrified. I snap my eyes closed as I hear Jacks voice in the back of my mind. "_My original plan was just to fuck you and throw you around some. I figured it would be fun to watch him come to terms with it_." Christian calls my name. "_Watch him figure out that his money and his status can't protect the one thing he cherishes. Then I would strike again and fuck you again, and again until he went mad."_

"Ana!" he says again and wraps me into a hug. "It's okay. It's over now, baby." I bury my face in his neck and cry as everything hits me. The gun to my head, Jack's fingers worming inside of me… I cling to Christian tightly. "I underestimated him. It'll never happen again," I hear him say. "I'm going to keep you safe, Ana. I promise." The nagging pain in my side starts to grow until it's almost intolerable. I moan into his neck. He reaches out and clicks something, and I suddenly start to feel drowsy. "It's just pain medicine," he explains softly and wraps me back in his arms. I fight to keep my eyes open. "Relax, baby. I won't leave you." And like that, I'm asleep.

IIIIIIIIIIIII

"Mmm," I moan, and my eyes flutter open. Christian is staring down at me.

"Good morning, Ana." He bends down to kiss me. "Are you feeling better?" he asks me tentatively.

I nod. The pain is still there, but it's manageable. I look around the room. It's much bigger than I remember. "Did they move me?" I ask confused. I don't remember there being a window either. _Or was it just too dark out?_

He sits down on the edge of my bed. "I thought this would be more comfortable," he explains.

"Thank you."

He frowns. "It's the least I can do," he says darkly, and turns to stare out the window.

My mercurial fifty is back, I note sadly. And he's more upset about this than I thought. I try to wrap my good arm around him and pull him onto the bed next to me, but I'm still too weak. He glances down at me sadly and carefully lies down on the bed, making sure not to disrupt any tubes or wires. "He didn't rape me Christian. You got there in time. You saved me," I repeat what I told him last night. "I'm fine."

He shakes his head. "No, he didn't… didn't do that to you. I know. I've been thanking God for that. But you're not fine Ana. Seeing you lying there on the floor, it reminded me… it reminded me of the crack whore. It scared the shit out of me." I nuzzle into his chest. _My poor fifty_. "And then you nearly died in my arms on the way to the hospital." I hear him let out a small sob. "I sat there in the waiting room for hours, not sure if I was ever going to see you again. I had to sit next to your father, the person who I promised I would keep you safe. I couldn't help but keep thinking about how much safer you would be if I wasn't in your life. If it weren't for me, none of this would of happened to you."

I stiffen. "Safer?" I ask incredulously. "For a CEO of a multi-billion dollar company Christian, you can be pretty dumb sometimes." He scowls at me. "If we were never together, if Kate did the interview herself, Hyde would still come after me. He tried to rape me at SIP, remember? I ran away from him, but you and Taylor kept him from following after me. So please don't talk like that. It scares me," I add quietly.

"No baby. I didn't mean it like that," he says desperately and wraps his arm around so he can pull my hair out of my face. "Never like that. I love you so much."

"I love you too," I say.

He kisses my forehead and sits up. "I should get out of your bed," he says. "I don't want to hurt you. Besides, my mother will be here any minute to check up on you."

I pout. "Stay with me?"

"Forever, Mrs. Grey. But for now you'll have to settle with me in a chair next to you. And don't pout," he warns, sitting back in the chair and taking my hand. We sit in silence for a few minutes, reveling in each other's presence. I close my eyes, enjoying the feel of his thumb caressing the back of my hand. I don't think I can bear to ever be away from him again. Not after what's happened. For the first time, I'm slightly reassured by the fact that he isn't going to let me out of his sight from now on.

My stomach grumbles loudly, cutting through our comfortable silence. Christian chuckles. "Hungry?" he asks. I nod sheepishly. "Finally something I can fix."


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

"Wake up, baby," Christian whispers softly into my ear. I groan and crack my eye open. The lights are off, and the only light is wafting in from the window across the room. "There's someone here to see you." I open my eyes a little wider, trying to fight off the effects of the drugs they have me on. He looks down at me, and I can see that he's yet to get any sleep. His eyes are red rimmed, and he hasn't shaved. But he's wearing his own clothes, I notice. My heart jumps into my throat when I focus in on the figure standing next to Christian at my bedside. _Daddy…_

Ray smiles down at me. "Thank god you're alright, Ana." He says seriously. "You had everyone so worried there for a while there."

"Ray!" I say groggily. "You're here." He bends down and kisses my forehead.

"Of course I'm here, I'm your father." He pulls up a chair on the other side of the bed. "Everyone's here," he adds.

"Mom?" I ask hopefully. If there was anyone on the planet I wanted to talk to right now, it would be her. She would know what to say, how to help me process everything that's happened. I love Christian with everything I have, but I know he's hurting from this enough. I can't help but remember what Hyde said about what Christian would do if I died… I have to suppress a shudder.

Ray frowns slightly at me. "Carla couldn't make it, kid. Bob broke his leg or something like that. She couldn't leave him in Georgia."

"Oh," I say simply, trying to hide my disappointment. Christian scowls next to me. I ignore him. I already know his feelings about my mother. _Wait. Did he say everyone was here? _"What do you mean everyone is here, Ray? It's only been me and Christian."

"I wanted you to get some rest," Christian answers guiltily, as if he was expecting a fight. "I told them they could visit later."

Normally I would say something. I should. Make a smart comment or pick a fight with him, but all I manage is a small "oh." He watches me warily, obviously surprised at my lack of reaction.

"Don't give your husband any flack, kid," Ray says, oblivious to my change of behavior. "You're in bad shape, and you need to get as much rest as you can." I nod mutely. "How are you feeling?" he asks softer.

I shrug and I can feel a dull twinge of pain in my arm, but otherwise the drugs seem to be working. "I feel fine, daddy" I tell him. "It's just these pain meds. They're making me so loopy."

He smiles kindly. "They do that don't they?" I manage a tired nod. He looks up at Christian. "Has anything changed from this morning?"

Christian shakes his head. "Everything is the same. They came in a few hours ago and changed a few wires. But other than that, Ana has just been sleeping."

Ray relaxes. "Good. Promise me you won't go out and get shot again, Anastasia. Didn't I teach you that you weren't supposed to get shot?" he jokes.

I give him a lame smile. "I must have missed that lesson," I say dryly. He means well, but I can't deal with humor right now. I think Ray reads my mood as tired because he only visits for a few more minutes before telling me to get some rest. I stare at the opened door for a few minutes, silently. _What is wrong with me?_ I can't even muster up enough energy to visit with Ray, the one person I've always made time for. I feel so tired and numb. I don't like it.

Christian doesn't let me brood for long. "How are you feeling?" He asks me quietly.

"I'm okay," I say blankly. I turn my head to look out the window, but I'm too far away to see anything but the top of the Seattle skyline.

He sighs and takes my hand in his. "That's not what I meant, Mrs. Grey." I don't say anything. "I was expecting an argument over keeping everyone away," he prods gently.

I turn my head to look at him, but I can't make eye contact. I stare at his mouth instead, taking in his features. I open my mouth, to try to explain how I feel, but nothing comes out. I don't know how to explain how afraid I am right now. I search my mind trying to come up with something, but my subconscious is cowering behind a copy the Tempest by William Shakespeare. Finally I let out a small whisper. "The king's son, Ferdinand, with hair up-staring,-then like reeds, not hair,-Was the first man that leap'd; cried, 'Hell is empty and all the devils are here.'"* It's the only thing that I can think of that expresses how I'm feeling. Christian takes a sharp intake of breath and I look up at him hesitantly. He says nothing, but rhythmically strokes my hand. I can see the pain in his face, and it hurts me. "Lay in bed with me?"

He shakes his head. "I don't want to hurt you, baby."

"Please, Christian," I plead weakly, desperately wanting to be closer to him. "You make me… You make me feel safe."

His expression softens and he sighs. "Will you promise to tell me if you're hurting?" I nod. He pushes his chair back and sits on the empty side of the narrow hospital bed. He gently swings his legs up, making sure not to jostle me, and snuggles in closer. I feel his arm fold over my chest and I nuzzle his neck. "Do you want to talk about it?" He says softly, his nose in my hair.

I'm brought back to the thought of Christian killing himself and I shudder. "None of this is your fault, Christian," I mumble. "If I tell you, you'll put yourself through hell. I don't want that."

I feel his fingers brush through my hair. "How can you think this isn't my fault, Ana? I left you by yourself in Seattle when I knew Hyde might try to go after you to get to me. I could have protected you." I shake my head against him, but I don't say anything. "I'm supposed to go over the security footage tomorrow with Taylor before we send it off to the police," he adds quietly. "I want you to talk to me Ana. I want to know what happened because you told me, not because of the cameras."

We fall into an uncomfortable silence and I let his heartbeats relax me. I never thought about the security cameras. The thought of Christian watching Hyde and me in the study makes me suddenly nauseous, regardless of the tube down my throat. "Promise me something?" I ask, finally.

"Anything."

"Don't watch all of it. Don't watch the footage from the study."

Christian sighs. "I need to know what we're giving to the police, baby. Why are you so worried about me?" he asks.

"Is there audio on the cameras?" I ask quietly.

He nods his head. "Yes, why?"

I take a deep breath. _He'll hear it anyway,_ I think. "Hyde said something to me," I pause. "When I was on the couch. It scared me so much." He tightens his arms around me. "He told me that If he killed me, that you would…" I can't finish and a wet sob escapes me. I cling to him, desperately. The thought of him… No I can't think about it, I just can't.

"I would hunt him to the end of the earth to make him pay," he says unsurely.

"And after that?" I ask, finally gaining the courage to look up at him. He watches me for a moment while the question sinks in.

"My life would have no meaning without you," he says slowly, answering my unasked question, and he wipes a tear from my cheek.

I squeeze my eyes shut, trying to control my emotions. "I don't- I don't want that Christian," I stutter through my tears. "Please don't. If something happens to me, don't-"

He shushes me. "Don't go down that road, Ana," he pleads quietly. "You're alive and I plan to keep you that way. Don't let Jack Hyde get in your head. Don't let him win."

"Never leave me," I mumble, settling back down onto the curve of his neck, letting the conversation drop for now.

"Never," he agrees.

I reach up with my good arm and touch the bandage on his cheek. The swelling around his eye has gone down but it's still bruised. "How are _you_?" I ask him. "Does it hurt?"

"It's nothing baby," he insists. "It's just a scratch. It will be fine."

I don't really believe him, but I change the subject anyway. "Has Welch found anything out yet?"

I feel him exhale next to me. "Nothing yet. But he'll trip up eventually. They always do. Ryan is convinced there's a connection to the accomplices; he just doesn't know what yet."

I think back to what he said about giving the security tapes to the police. "Why haven't the police come to take my statement?" I ask Christian curiously.

He shrugs. "When I said no visitors, I meant it," he says. "I've been holding them off until you're ready.

I open my mouth to say thank you, but I'm interrupted by a soft knock on the door. Grace is standing in the doorway watching us, holding a metal clipboard. "Christian!" She scolds quietly. "The nurses won't be happy when they see you in Ana's hospital bed."

He snorts, but moves to get up. "I don't pay them to be happy."

I unbury my face from the crook of his neck and grab at his black shirt. I'm not ready for him to let go of me. "No, stay," I plead. He smiles down at me and settles back down. "I asked him up here, Grace," I say to my mother-in-law.

She realizes that I'm awake and her stance softens considerably. "Of course you did, darling," she says and bends down to kiss me on the cheek. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm alright," I say noncommittally.

Christian shakes his head. "She doesn't like the pain medicine, mom. Is there something they can give her that will make her less drowsy?" I roll my eyes where he can't see me. Controlling fifty has finally reared his head. But I'm secretly happy he's said something. I can't stand this stuff.

"I'll talk to the doctor before I head home for the night." She glances down at me before looking back at up at Christian, and her voice softens even more. "The rape kit came back inconclusive, darling." I groan in morbid embarrassment and bury my face in Christian's shoulder. _Who else did he tell?_ I think worriedly. _He didn't tell Ray, did he? Oh god, what about Kate. She'll freak_. It was hard enough to talk about it with Christian, I don't think I could sit through trying to explain it to anyone else. I try not to think of being unconscious with my legs up in stirrups. I shudder anyway.

"What do you mean inconclusive?" Christian asks her, his voice darkening. I don't know why he sounds so surprised, I told him that Hyde didn't rape me. My subconscious nags at me. _As far as you know he didn't,_ she says snidely. _You gave up and stopped fighting to stare at a picture. You weren't even really 'there' were you?_ I bite my lip worriedly. Did I zone out? _No, I couldn't have_, I think. _I would have known if he had._

"They found traces of semen, but the timing doesn't match up," she says vaguely. I cringe. Oh god this is embarrassing. They did a rape kit on me and found Christians… And Grace is the one trying to explain it to him. If this was in other context, I might have found it funny. But I'm going through too much shit right now to enjoy the possible humor of the situation.

He relaxes finally. "Oh," he says simply.

Grace sighs and stands at the end of the bed, watching him closely. "I thought I told you to get some sleep, Christian."

"I'm fine," he replies.

"I know you don't want to leave the hospital darling but you need to get some sleep," she insists.

"I've gotten a few hours of sleep, mother. It's fine," he says dismissively, and I can hear a hint of irritation in his voice.

"Sleeping in a chair hardly counts darling," she says kindly. "Let me at least get you a cot in here and you can sleep there.

He opens his mouth to complain when I mumble "listen to your mom," tiredly.

"Fine," he sighs. "Get me a cot. But I doubt I'll sleep."

Grace nods knowingly. She probably knows Christians nightmares as much as I do. "Just try, that's all I ask." She takes another look at us snuggled together and gives us a sad smile. "Thank god everything turned out okay," she says to herself, and makes her exit.

I peek up at Christian. "You didn't tell me they did a- an exam," I say meekly once Grace is gone.

"I'm sorry," he says. "Once you told me, I didn't want to upset you by bringing it up again. My mom is the only one that knows."

"Grace and the entire security team," I think out loud, embarrassed. His face sets in a frown and opens his mouth to say something, but I shake my head. "I'm sorry, it just… freaks me out, okay?" I admit quietly, fighting back a yawn.

He pulls me closer. "Do you think I would let some random male doctor do an exam on you? And I was with you the entire time."

I can't help but let out a small giggle, despite the situation. "Did you wake up Dr. Greene in the middle of the night? That must have cost you a fortune."

"I love that giggle," he whispers happily and I yawn again. "I think I wore you out Mrs. Grey. I was worried that might happen. You should get some more sleep."

"Stay with me?" I ask.

"Wild horses couldn't pull me out of this bed," He says confidently. "Now sleep."

I snuggle into his chest, and wait for the drugs to take over.

*Quote from The Tempest, William Shakespeare.

**A/N: Another chapter up. Everybody take note of some of the hints in this chapter that will lead to some pretty good reading in the next few uploads. I'm not going to tell you what they are, that would ruin the fun of it. But let's see what you come up with. Also, thanks to everyone for all of the wonderful reviews. Please keep them coming!**


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

I pick at my scrambled eggs with my left arm, disinterested; my right is casted in a sling and hanging in front of my chest uselessly. I glance at the trashcan near my bed. I'm half tempted to throw my breakfast away while Christian is gone signing my discharge papers, but I don't want to risk being found out.

I've been in this hospital for almost a week. Five days of lying in a hospital bed has been a nightmare, but know that it's time to leave, I'm scared to go. Christian can go on all he wants about the new security features in the apartment, or how everything is back to normal; but fancy gadgets won't erase my memories of the apartment. A part of me wants to ask him to take me to a hotel for a few days, tell him that I'm not ready, but I just want to go home and forget everything that's happened. I want to go back to just being a newlywed, back to work and pull the pieces of my life together again.

Even I know that it's hopeless thinking. I was a mess when I had to talk to the police without Christian there. They wouldn't let him be in the room with me. I can't stand for Christian to be more than six feet away from me; what am I going to do when I go back to work? When he does?

I put my fork down and lean back onto the uncomfortable pillow. I try to remind myself of the bright side; at least I'll be back in my comfy bed and I can finally take a bath. I moan and close my eyes, imagining the feel of hot water running through my oily hair. _I can finally scrub Hyde off me,_ I sigh. How I've wanted to do that ever since I woke up, as if it could erase his hands all over me. I can't begin to explain how gross and dirty I still feel.

I'm lost in my thoughts when feel a soft brush against my lips. My eyes flutter open and Christian is nose to nose with me, grey eyes watching me intently. "Are you ready to go home, Mrs. Grey?" he asks me happily. I can tell that he's relieved to be leaving this place.

I don't want to ruin his good mood with my anxiousness, so I put on a brave face and nod my head. "Yes, take me home Mr. Grey."

I sit up slowly, and swing my legs off of the bed, while he turns around to pull a wheelchair closer to my bed. I scowl at him. "A wheelchair, really?" I grumble, looking down at it distastefully. "I'm not an invalid, Christian."

"It's a long walk to the car from here, and there are paparazzi outside," he says grimly, and color spreads across my cheeks. I still don't understand how I'm interesting enough to be followed around by the paps. "I don't trust any of those dumb fucks not to knock you over. How they know that you're being discharged today is beyond me."

He holds out his arms and helps me pull myself up. His happiness fades into a tight lipped frown as he looks me over. "You've lost weight again," he says mercurially, noticing how baggy the dress is on me.

"I'm sure you'll make me stuff my face to gain it back," I reassure him dryly as he helps me over to the wheelchair.

"You know me so well." He mutters quietly and glances at my uneaten breakfast on the tray. "We'll start with another breakfast when we get home." I roll my eyes.

He steps behind the wheelchair and hooks my overnight bag on the handle. "I saw that, Anastasia," he whispers in my ear. It sends a familiar shiver down my spine that momentarily distracts me from my thoughts.

"Stow your twitchy palm, _Sir,_" I tease. From the corner of my eye, I can see his hands tighten around the handles. "There will be none of that, for a few weeks. Doctor's orders."

"Don't remind me," he mutters darkly.

I look ahead silently as he wheels me out of the room, and my mood plummets to the floor. Taylor steps in behind us and pulls out his phone. I can hear him talking to someone on the other line, but I don't give it too much thought. I watch, almost in a daze as Christian leads me through the halls towards the lobby. I desperately cling to the idea of a hot shower to keep myself calm. I twist my hands in my lap anxiously.

"Are you ready?" Christian asks me, when we finally make it to the lobby. I have to squint to protect my eyes from the bright light. The large glass windows give me a chance to get a good look at the few dozen people waiting outside. I nod slowly; I don't trust my voice right now. "Deep breaths baby," he says quietly as the automatic doors open. "It'll be over soon."

Once we've passed through the double doors, we're immediately noticed by the crowd of paparazzi mulling about. I close my eyes tightly, as cameras start flashing in my face. People start yelling out questions. I can feel Christian pick up the pace and I grimace when he runs over a bump. "Almost there baby," he mutters, but I can barely hear him over the noise. Distantly, I can hear car doors slamming and Taylor yelling at someone over the cacophony. I keep my eyes closed when we come suddenly to a stop.

A door opens and I feel Christians arm sliding underneath my knees. He gently lifts me up and sets me in the car and closes the door. I let out a painful sigh of relief at the quiet of the car. My head feels like it's pounding against my skull.

I hear car doors opening and Christian climbs in on the other side. He reaches over and buckles me in. "Is this too tight?" He asks me anxiously.

"It's fine," I mutter. I flinch at the sound of the front doors slamming shut.

"What's wrong, baby?"

"Nothing. It was just too much right now," I tell him, and I finally crack my eyes open. Christian is sitting in the seat beside me watching me worriedly. I lean over to rest my head on his shoulder, but the seatbelt makes contact with my stitches and my breath hitches in my throat. Christian quickly undoes his seatbelt and scoots over to the middle seat.

Taylor eyes him disapprovingly as Christian puts the seatbelt on. He wraps his arm around my shoulders. "I should have brought you to the other side," he says quietly. "I'm sorry."

I let my head rest on him. "You've been apologizing to me every ten minutes for days, Christian. Stop it, I'll be fine," I repeat for the umpteenth time. Ever since he went through the footage with Welsh he's been acting like this. It was bad enough that he watched the cameras from his study after I had asked him not to. I try not to think of the argument we had about it when I found out.

A smile ghosts across his face. "Bossy today, aren't we Mrs. Grey?"

"Until I get my hot bath Mr. Grey, you can expect it," I say dryly.

He kisses my forehead. "No baths, just showers," he commands me gently. "And If I find you've been trying to hide your home care sheet from me again, I may have to spank you," I hear him whisper in my ear.

I blush, crimson. _Well so much for that,_ I think. "And what does my _home care sheet_ say about that?" I ask innocently.

"Don't worry baby, I'll be counting your transgressions up," he replies lightly.

IIIIIIIIIIIII

I take a deep breath and step out of the elevator. The foyer has returned to normal since I've been gone. The table in the center of the room has been put back on its feet. On it is a new crystal vase holding an arrangement of fresh pink peonies. I look around. The paintings hanging from the walls have been straightened, and I note that the door to the great room has been replaced. I frown at my surroundings, conflicted. I thought I would be more relieved that nothing had changed. For the last several days, I have done nothing but yearn for this normalcy, for things to go back to the way they were before Hyde broke in. But now that I'm standing here, I'm starting to realize that things can't just go back to normal. He's out there somewhere, waiting in the shadows for me. Or even worse still, Christian. It's a chilling thought.

Christian steps next to me and wraps his arm around my waist, protectively. "Come on, baby," he says quietly, pulling me forward. I nod distractedly and let him lead me through the open doorway.

We walk silently through the quiet great room, and I blink in surprise. Where the foyer was a carbon copy of itself, this room is anything but. I stop, stunned. The only thing I can recognize is the piano near the hallway to the kitchen, instead of by the floor to ceiling glass windows. Everything else has been replaced. The u shaped couch in the entertainment room is gone, I note, replaced by several brown leather armchairs. It looks like an entirely different apartment. I look up at Christian confused.

He shrugs at me. "I didn't want anything to remind you of what happened," he says softly. I bite my lip and fight back tears at the sentiment. _Oh fifty,_ I think emotionally, _you're so good to me and you don't even know it.._. The depth of feeling I have for this man will always surprise me. He caresses my cheek. "If it's still too much, we can go to the Fairmont."

I look up into his worried grey eyes and shake my head dumbfounded. His eyebrows crease as he looks down at me. "And you say you're no good at hearts and flowers," I say softly. "Thank you." He says nothing but wraps his hands in my hair and kisses me.

He pulls away plants a light kiss on my forehead. "Let's get you into that shower, Mrs. Grey."

When we finally reach the master bathroom, my mood perks up considerably. I can finally get clean. Christian leads me over to the bathtub and sits me down on the lip. I watch him as he slips his shoes and socks off. _He's not coming in with me, is he?_ I wonder. "Wait here," he tells me. "I have to get something." I frown as he pads out to the bedroom. _I need to be clean of Jack._ _I need to do this if I'm going to start over,_ I think anxiously, and my mood plummets again. My subconscious gives me a confused glare. _Get your shit together, Ana!_ She snaps at me and I groan. My emotions are so all over the place that it's starting to give _me_ whiplash.

A now shirtless Christian comes back, holding an oversized, blue rubber sock. "What is that?" I ask.

"It's for your cast, so it doesn't get wet. Hold out your arm." I unwrap the sling from around my neck and hold out my casted arm for him. As he bends over me, my attention is brought to his muscular abdomen, momentarily distracting me. He slides the sock up and around the L-shaped hard cast, tightening it at my shoulder. "Is that too tight?" he asks glancing down at me.

"It's fine," I mutter, blushing.

"See something you like, Mrs. Grey?" he teases softly and steps back to admire his handiwork. I stay silent and look away. He just chuckles, stands up and starts to pull up the hem of my dress. His finger skims across my thighs gently.

I stiffen suddenly at the memory of Hyde's hands and push his hand away. He looks up at me surprised. "Please. Don't," I beg, and I can feel nausea rising in the back of my throat.

"Ana, what's wrong?"

"I don't need you to help me shower. I'll be fine on my own," I say, and he frowns disbelievingly.

"Absolutely not," he snaps, albeit gently. "You could slip. And how do you plan to wash your hair with one arm?"

I shrug. "It's not the first time I've broken my arm, Christian. I'll manage."

He eyes me suspiciously. "You're lying, Anastasia. What's wrong?" he asks again.

"Please Christian. I just want to do this alone, okay?"

"Why? What aren't you telling me?"

I gape at his insistence. _I need to clean Jack Hyde off of me!_ I want to scream at him. _I can still feel his hands all over me, in me! I can't do that with you here! _He watches me expectantly with a thin lipped frown and I falter. "I can't do this with you right now. Please just let it go."

Hurt flashes through his soft grey eyes and he suddenly looks like an abandoned child. "You don't want me?" he whispers.

"No!" I say frustrated. "I just need to do this by myself. I need to- I need to be _clean_…"

Something in him clicks, and he takes a hesitant step back. "Is that what you need, baby?"

"Yes," I stutter out desperately. "Please, Christian."

"I'll be outside the door," he says painfully, and I know he doesn't want to leave me. "Let me know if you need anything." I nod slowly and watch him leave, giving me one last glance before the door quietly clicks behind him.

I take a deep breath now that I'm finally alone. I walk over to the shower and start to peel off my clothes, leaving them in a pile on the floor. The water is scalding when I step into the walk in shower, and I wince, but I don't move away. I just stand under the burning jet, letting the water roll through my hair and down my body. It's painful and refreshing at the same time. I stand there for what feels like hours, relishing in the slightly painful, burning sensation.

I finally let out a quiet sob and I grab my body wash. I pour a heaping amount of it on a washcloth. I start with my chest, and begin to scrub frantically, fighting back tears. I close my eyes, but all I can see is Jack with his hands all over me, his face between my breasts. I scrub harder. _Why isn't this working?_ I think desperately as I start to cry. I can still remember, still feel him. I sob louder than before, scouring my chest with the cloth until its red and raw.

I hear Christian call out to me softly from behind the door. I just move the washcloth down to my belly continuing to scrub harshly, ignoring his protests for me to let him in. The washcloth catches on one of my stitches and pulls at it. I yelp loudly, but keep going, unable to stop.

I feel like I'm being pulled back into a nightmare. I watch in horror as the scenes replay in my head over and over again. I can feel Hyde's overpowering weight on me, holding me down. He rips open my bra, and buries his face in my exposed breasts. Now his rough hands are sliding up my thighs. His terrible breath on my neck as he leisurely pulls my panties down. _Why did I stop fighting? _I want to scream at myself. _Why?_ I remember the feel of his finger swirling inside me, and I start to sob hysterically into my hands.

The shower door bangs open and before I know it, Christian's arms are wrapped around me. I try to push him away, but he pulls me tightly against his strong chest and holds me there. "It's over, Ana," he whispers into my ear. "It's over. Everything is alright, baby."

We stand there like that in the shower for close to an hour. Me, broken and naked sobbing into his chest, and Christian, now soaking wet and fully clothed, rocks me back and forth and whispers sweet nothings in my ear.

**A/N:** Another chapter up! This one was harder to write than I thought it would be so enjoy! Don't forget to review.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

**CPOV**

"Baby, are you okay?" I ask softly from the other side of the bathroom door. "Do you need me to come in there?" I can hear her still crying quietly, but she doesn't answer. I want nothing more than to knock the door down, but what she said a few minutes earlier continues to haunt me, pausing me in my tracks. _I need- I need to be clean…_ The meaning behind those words sends a shiver down my spine. The way she said it… she sounded so broken right there. I'm supposed to be the fucked up one, not her. I bury my hands in my face. _I'm such a dumbass,_ I say to myself bitterly. I stupidly thought that because Hyde didn't get a chance to do anything, that she'd be fine. So I had the furniture rearranged, so nothing could remind her of what happened. I groan. _How could I be so fucking stupid? _

I sigh and lean against the door, listening to her crying. Her rejection of me still stings. I want to help her. Fuck, I want her to need me like I need her. I want to take care of her, and help put her back together again, just like she's done for me. But I can't do any of that on this side of the door, and it makes me angry. She doesn't want me.

In sickness or in health, that's what we promised._ Why won't she let me in, dammit? _A mix of hurt and anger bubble up as the realization hits me. _She lied to me,_ I think dumbfounded. _She fucking lied to me. God dammit, Ana!_ I made her promise me that she told me everything. There's obviously something more going on. How did I not see it earlier? It's because I wanted all this to be over. I knew she wasn't completely okay, her personality has been off ever since she woke up. Once again, I can't protect her. Not even from myself.

I put my ear to the door, amplifying the sound of her heart breaking sobs. This is torture. _What is she even doing in there?_ I wonder. I stiffen as a bone chilling thought passes through me. _Is she trying to hurt herself?_ I can't breathe, and I can feel my heart pumping in my head. I grab the door knob and yank the door open. I can't just wait out here listening. Not if she's…

I'm immediately assaulted by a cloud of steam and a loud yelp of pain. "Fuck! Ana!" I say desperately, running over to the walk in shower. "Are you okay?" She doesn't respond. I slam the shower door back.

She's collapsed on the floor against the wall of the shower, with her arms wrapped tightly around her knees, sobbing uncontrollably. I drop to my knees in front of her. _My Ana, my beautiful strong Ana…_ "Baby," say quietly, not wanting to spook her. It doesn't look like she even knows that I'm here. "It's okay baby, it's over." She wraps her arms tighter against her legs.

I reach out to pull her against me, but her good hand instinctively swats at my outstretched arms. I ignore her protests, and wrap my arms around her. She pushes weakly against my chest a few times, before she just gives up and sags into me, sobbing. "Ana," my voice cracks. "It's okay. It's over. Please Ana, come back to me."

I notice that her hair is still oily. _Maybe that will help calm her down,_ I think desperately. "Come on baby, let's get you clean," I say. It seems to reach her, wherever she is right now, because her arms slide off of her legs. Carefully, I drag her into a standing position and lead her under the stream of water. She feels like a rag doll under my hands. After I adjust the water temperature to a more tolerable level, I take a step back and gasp.

"Christ, Ana," I croak as my eyes trail down her naked form. I want to throw up. Her alabaster skin is covered in angry red splotches, from her breasts all the way down to her hips. I stare at them in horror. _What has she done to herself?_ I see the discarded washcloth on the floor of the shower and I realize that she's rubbed her skin completely raw. Why, I can't begin to fathom.

Her body convulses as she lets out another sob, and I pull her against me. "Ana, don't cry. Please. You're safe, I've got you." I pet her hair. "It's going to be okay. Hyde is never going to come near you again. I promise."

It takes almost an hour to convince her to get out of the shower. She's still crying, but it's died down to a whimper. She stands in the middle of the bathroom, shivering, as I search the medicine cabinet for the container of arnica cream. I reach over for a towel and dry the blue sock on her arm before pulling it off. I wrap the towel around her snugly, grab the cream, and lift her up into my arms. She buries her face against me as I carry her into the bedroom.

Gail is standing in the open doorway holding a cup of something, presumably for Ana, stunned. "Is everything alright?" she gasps at me, looking at my thoroughly wet clothes.

"No," I say softly, afraid of upsetting Ana and continue walking over to the bed. "Call Dr. Flynn. Tell him it's an emergency."

She watches us worriedly for a second, before setting the cup on the nightstand. "I'll do that right now, Mr. Grey," she says slowly, before disappearing back down the hallway. I lay Ana down on the bed and start peeling my wet clothes off. I throw them in a nearby clothes hamper and walk over to the closet, keeping a close eye on Ana the whole time. I open a few drawers and pull out a fresh set of clothes.

When I get back to the bed, she's curled up in a ball, watching me. I change quickly, and then bend over her. I open her towel up so I can look at her stitches. Soaking in the shower for so long couldn't have been good for them. They look irritated, probably from all of the rubbing, but fine. _Thank god for small mercies._ I open the lid on the arnica cream and run two fingers through the ointment.

She winces as I start rubbing it in on her belly. "No, that hurts," she whispers.

I'm momentarily surprised to hear her voice. I sigh in relief; she's finally coming out of it. I stop and look up at her. "You rubbed your skin raw," I explain. "This will help with the pain, I promise." She frowns, but acquiesces, nodding her head slowly.

I dab my fingers back in the ointment and return my hand to her stomach. I take my time rubbing the ointment in, reacquainting myself with her glorious curves. _Oh, what this woman does to me…_ My hands eventually work their way up to the angry red splotches scattered across her breasts. She tenses as I brush past her nipple and I glance up at her. She_'s _watching me warily, her bottom lip between her teeth. She looks unsure.

I bend over her and place a calculated kiss on her left breast. She lets out a small gasp, but doesn't pull away from me. "Mine," I say weightily, staring into her eyes.

"Yours." Her voice cracks emotionally as she whispers it.

I lean back; I don't want to push her. Well, that and I don't think I will be able to control myself much longer. Not with her biting her lip like that. I twist the lid back on the arnica cream when I'm done and set it on the bedside table. Ana sits up in the bed, and I help her into a pair of my old sweatpants and a t-shirt. She should be in silks or satins, but I don't argue with her this time. "I'm sorry," she whispers weakly. I can see her sinking back into a funk, and I think desperately for something to distract her.

"Don't." I climb into bed beside her and pull her into my chest.

"I just wanted to be clean."

I shake my head and take a deep breath. "Baby, you were never dirty."

IIIIIIIIIIIII

I'm sitting at the breakfast bar staring blankly at a half empty glass of Bollinger, when I hear footsteps behind me. I turn around and see John watching me from a few feet away, reading me. I frown. He's supposed to be psychoanalyzing Ana, not me. Not today at least. "How is she?" I ask him quietly, setting the wine glass down.

"Ana will be fine, Christian," he says, moving to take a seat next to me. "Just give her some time."

I think back to this morning and shake my head. "But earlier, she looked so… I don't even know how to explain it, John. I've never seen her like that before. And she nearly scrubbed the skin off her chest. What happened?"

"She has been putting off dealing with the attack since she woke up," John reassures me. "That's all this was, just a delayed natural reaction to what happened. Women who are sexually assaulted often have the obsessive compulsive need to be clean. Scrubbing her skin where Jack Hyde touched here isn't that surprising. The best thing you can do at this point is to keep an open communication with her. It's when we stop talking and start internalizing that problems start to develop, as I'm sure you know."

I bite back a frustrated snort and push my stool back, preferring movement to sitting still. I start to pace. "That's what I've been trying to do, but she's not being open with me. I know there's something she's not telling me. Why won't she tell me?"

John turns around and watches me in his psychoanalytic way. "I think the same question could be asked of you, Christian. Why did you wait so long to tell her about your past?" That stops me in my tracks.

I realize that Ana's emergency session has suddenly turned into mine. "We should do this later, I need to go check on Ana."

"She's curled up in bed with a book," John says. "She can spare you for a few minutes, surely."

"I didn't want to put my shit in her head," I say slowly. "I didn't want her pity to cloud her feelings for me."

He nods slowly. "Focus on that first thought. Why?"

I frown, coming to the conclusion he's trying to lead me too. "She doesn't want to upset me."

John nods and pushes his horn rimmed glasses up his nose. "Very good."

I huff and sit back down, returning to my staring contest with the wine glass. "She told you," I mutter petulantly, before I can stop myself and I cringe. Jesus, that sounded childlike.

"Yes. We talked about it for a while," he says. I'm half tempted to ask him what happened, but I know it's pointless. "She asked me how I thought you would take the news, and I gave her my honest opinion," he adds vaguely.

"And what was it," I ask, hoping to squeeze something useful out of him, "this honest opinion of yours?"

John shows a crack in his classic façade as he thinks about how to word his answer. "I told her that I didn't know," he says finally. I reach out to take a sip of the wine. I don't like the sound of that one bit.

We end the conversation there, and I walk with him to the elevator, thanking him again for coming on such short notice. Once he's gone, I go back into the kitchen where Gail is already starting to chop vegetables. She heats me up a bowl of macaroni and cheese and sends me upstairs. I head directly for the master bedroom, balancing the bowl and a glass of water on a tray. The door has been left cracked open and I slowly push it open the rest of the way and peek inside.

Ana is lying under the covers and propped up against a stack of pillows, asleep. I set the tray down and sit on the corner of the bed watching her. I don't have the heart to wake her, even though she needs to eat. She just looks so peaceful in her sleep, the exact opposite of what she's looked all day. I pick up the open book lying in her lap and save the page, setting it on the end table next to her.

I wish I could tell her that everything is okay when she wakes up. All I could possibly say would be that Hyde has been arrested or better yet, killed. But I can't, because he's completely fallen off the radar. I pay Welch close to 140,000 dollars a year, and yet he might as well be a fucking five year old, the amount of good he's doing me. He can't find anything, not one fucking little clue as to where Hyde is.

I stand back up and collect the tray, before quietly leaving the room. I love you, will have to do until then.

**A/N: I'm typically the type of person who doesn't like fan fic's where POV's switch back and forth. So readers, please tell me your opinions on it. Tune back in for next weeks chapter, you won't want to miss it. Trust me. Oh and as usual, review!**


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

**APOV**

"There you are."

I look up from my book guiltily. Christian is leaning against the doorway of my library in his signature grey suit, his leather briefcase leaning against the wall. He went back to work last week. "Sorry," I say, marking my page and setting the book down on my desk. "I must have lost track of time."

"Not trying to get out of your doctor's appointment are you? Because I have plans for you tonight," he adds suggestively. I blush and stand up. _I can imagine. _His eyes travel down my dress hungrily, and he pulls me against him. "I like your dress Mrs. Grey. I can't wait to tear it off of you," he whispers in my ear. His hands slide down to my backside.

I can feel the beginnings of an erection poking against my hip and I giggle. "You'd better be careful, Mr. Grey. You don't want to give the doctor the wrong impression," I tease. "He might forget to take my stitches out, and then where will we be?"

He lets out a rare laugh. "We can't have that, now can we? Are you ready to go?"

I nod. "I just have to get some shoes. I'll meet you in the foyer in five?"

"I'll go upstairs and grab them," Christian says. "I don't want you climbing the stairs more than you have to."

"Christian, I'm not an invalid," I sigh. _Here we go again…_ It's not the first time we've had this argument. I try to pull back but his arms tighten around me. "You've been treating me like a porcelain doll for two weeks. I'm supposed to get these stitches out today, so I think I'll be fine to go up and down the staircase."

"Alright," he says, and I can tell he's trying not to ruin our good mood. "But if you feel dizzy or something, let me know." I thank him, kiss his cheek and wiggle out of his grasp. He follows me out, briefcase in hand and watches me as I climb the stairs, heading towards the master bedroom. I roll my eyes at his behavior, once I'm out of his line of vision.

Once I reach the bedroom, I make my way over to the walk-in closet. Bending down to pick up a pair of red flats, and aware of how the dress rides up, I decide to change into something more comfortable. I grab the shoes, stand up and rifle through a few drawers before pulling out a pair of jeans and a striped blouse. This way I won't have to undress to get these obnoxious stitches out. _And it might keep my husband's wandering hands still until we get home…_

I carry the clothes out, set them on the bed, and start to change. The cast on my arm makes it awkward, but as I've said to Christian multiple times, it's not the first time I've had a broken arm. I pull the dress over my shoulders and slide into the jeans, but stop when I catch myself in the tall mirror against the wall. I frown and look myself over.

The red marks have faded away, I notice. I'm glad to see them gone. He refuses to admit it, but I know they've worried Christian to no end. I still haven't told him what Hyde did when I was tied up on the couch. Even Flynn admitted that he didn't think Christian would take it well, and the last thing I need right now is for him to overreact and do something stupid. I shudder. _God that talk with Flynn was embarrassing… _But at least I'm starting to feel better. Not normal, but better. I'm still uncomfortable with being downstairs by myself, and I haven't mustered up the courage to go back into Christian's study.

I bring my thoughts back to the present and zip up my jeans. If I'm late to this doctor's appointment, I'll go insane. These stitches have been itching for days, and the two weeks without sex haven't been much better. I pull the blouse down over my head and slip into the shoes.

Christian is in the kitchen, when I get downstairs, sipping at a glass of water. He eyes me curiously. "You changed," he says.

"Easier access," I explain, lifting my blouse to expose the bandage on my side.

"Easier access for Dr. Martinez maybe, but not for me," he mutters cheekily and sets the glass down on the breakfast bar. "Come on, I don't want to be late."

"Why, were you planning on having your way with me on the way home?" I ask sarcastically, fighting the urge to roll my eyes as he leads me towards the foyer.

"I wasn't going to say no to the opportunity if it came up," he responds vaguely. Taylor and Sawyer are waiting for us by the elevator in their usual black suits. As usual, I feel underdressed around the two of them.

We all go down to the parking garage in the same elevator. _It must be a new security measure. _I try not to read into it too much. I feel Christian's hand slide down my back to my butt. I reach around and grab his hand. "Stop that," I yelp in surprise.

"Stop what?" he asks. His face looks innocent enough, but his eyes give him away. I move his hand back up to the small of my back. To their credit, Sawyer and Taylor are still facing front. Christian's hand slides back down and I giggle, but don't say anything. He hasn't been this playful in a while.

**IIIIIIIIIIIII**

"Mrs. Grey, Mr. Grey," Dr. Martinez greets us as he walks in. "How are you feeling today, Ana?"

"Very itchy," I reply, sitting on the exam bed.

"Well hopefully we can take those stitches out today. The cast needs to stay on for, what did we say?" he asks and picks up my chart and rifles through it. "Three more weeks, at least. Then we'll do another x-ray and go from there."

I groan. _Three more weeks with this thing. Ugh._ But at least Christian won't force me to be on bed rest the whole time. Hopefully, at least. I glance over at him and he gives me a small smile. I make a mental note to ask Dr. Martinez if I can return to work soon. Christian can't have a fit, if we're in public, right?

Dr. Martinez pulls up the short wheeled stool out from under the counter and sits down. "If you'll lie down on your back and lift your top up a bit, we can get a good look at these stitches."

I do as I'm told and lift my blouse out of the way of the bandage on my left side. He pulls on a pair of latex gloves before scooting over to the exam bed. I can feel the bed underneath me start to lower slowly. Doctor Martinez peels off the bandage and starts to probe the incision site with his fingers. "Any tenderness?"

"A bit," I reply as I stare at the ceiling.

"They look ready to come out," he says. "This might hurt a bit." I hear Christian move from his chair to stand next to me. I turn my head over to look at him and immediately blush. I'm face to face with his groin. My subconscious has to take a seat to enjoy the show. I glance up at him. A smile twitches on his face, before he kneels down to eye level with me.

Getting the stitches removed isn't as painful as I'd thought it would be. I just hold Christian's offered hand for the closeness. Within a few minutes I'm sitting back up and Christian is asking about whether or not I'm clear for sex.

"Not to worry," Dr. Martinez replies. "You can return to your normal sexual activites now that the incision site is healed up"

There is a quiet knock on the door, and a short blonde nurse comes in holding a yellow folder. She takes a look at Christian and blushes profusely. I scowl at her. _He's mine_, I want snap. She looks down at me and her eyes widen at my expression. "Dr. Martinez," she stammers. "I- I have the labs you asked for."

"Oh thank you Jessica," Dr. Martinez says and takes the folder from her and opens it. She has the gall to spare another glance at Christian on her way out. I glare at the now closed door. I feel Christian stiffen next to me, and I bring my attention back to the doctor who has a surprised look on his face.

"Well it looks like congratulations are in order, Mrs. Grey," he says looking up at us . "You're pregnant."

**A/N: Tadaa! Sorry it's such a short chapter, I couldn't wait to post it. Enjoy and of course, review!**


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

"Well it looks like congratulations are in order, Mrs. Grey," he says looking up at us. "You're pregnant." Christian drops my hand like it's on fire.

_Wait, what?_ I think sluggishly._ Pregnant?_ My stomach drops into my knees and I'm suddenly nauseous. This doctor has got to be wrong. "I can't be pregnant," I say urgently. "I'm on the shot. I've never missed a dose!" _Oh my god, this can't be happening._ I look desperately at Christian, but he refuses to make eye contact.

"Your shot may very well have failed," Dr. Martinez says sympathetically, setting down the folder. He leans against the counter and folds his arms. "Nothing is fool proof. But you are pregnant, Mrs. Grey."

_No. No. No. No. Fuck. This can't be happening…_ I struggle to take a deep breath and bury my face in my hands. _This is happening to soon. Way too soon. _I'm not ready to have a baby. _We're _not ready.

"I thought this was a reliable form of birth control," I hear Christian ground out. I flinch. He's pissed. _Fuck!_ I'm at the verge of tears now. _It's too soon. It's too soon._

"I'm afraid birth control isn't something I specialize in," the Doctor admits, immune to the anger in Christian's voice. I distantly wish I was. "But the Depo shot _is_ supposed to be effective. You're sure you haven't missed your Depo shot, Mrs. Grey?"

I nod quickly. "I had one before- before we left on the honeymoon, and the other one while I was in the hospital. I swear."

"Well," he says, changing the subject. "In light of this, you'll have to stop taking the pain meds I prescribed you. I'll write you another one for something that you can take. And you'll want to get in to see your Gynecologist as soon as possible. She'll be able to do an ultrasound to figure out how far along you are."

I'm given prescriptions for new pain medicine and prenatal vitamins and before I know it we're leaving. I follow Christian out in a daze. Christian stomps towards the black SUV with his hands in fists at his sides. _I'm pregnant._ I glance down at my flat stomach. _A baby. _I still can't believe it. The timing is terrible for sure, but, _a baby. Christian's baby. Growing inside me._

When we get to the car, Christian yanks the door open for me. I'm sure it's out of habit, because the look on his face doesn't match the politeness of the gesture. Not one bit. "Christian," I say weakly. "Please-"

"Get in the car, Anastasia," he interrupts coldly. I stand there gawking at him. Through everything we've been through, I've never heard him sound that cold towards me. "Get in the fucking car," he repeats, his voice dropping into a lower register.

I bite my lip and get in, and flinch when he slams the door closed. Sawyer looks at me worriedly through the rear view mirror, but doesn't say anything. Christian hauls himself into the SUV, straps in and slams his door shut too.

Once were moving, Christian tears into me. "I can't fucking believe this! How could you let this happen?"

How could _I _let this happen? "I didn't do anything," I whisper, fighting back tears. "I didn't miss my shot Christian, it just happened."

"Just happened? Babies don't fucking just happen, Ana!" he snaps and I grimace. He's a lot madder than I thought he'd be. "I'm not ready to be a father."

_That's what this is about_, I think. "I think you'll be a wonderful father," I say slowly.

"How do you know that!?"

I stare at my knees. "I know you're upset. I know the timing isn't right and neither of us is ready for this, but we'll figure it out."

He slams his fist into the empty seat between us. "We've known each other for five fucking minutes!" He yells. "I wanted to show you the world, Ana. I'm not ready to share you. And now it's going to be diapers, and vomit and shit! Fuck!" He shoves his fist through his hair in an effort to calm down, but it doesn't seem to be working.

"Please don't yell at me, Christian," I mumble through tears, still looking at my knees.

"Jesus H. Christ, here we go with the fucking waterworks," he says hurtfully. "See? This is why I like control. So shit like this doesn't happen and fuck everything to hell. Fuck…" I notice we've stopped at a red light. His voice drops down to a harsh, bitter whisper. "Is it even mine?"

I gasp and stare at him in shock at the implication behind his comment. He seems to realize what he just said as well because the anger on his face fades into horror. "Fuck, Ana," he says quickly and reaches his hand out to touch me. "I'm sorry-"

I swat his hand away from me and sob. "Really Christian?" I bite back, hurt beyond belief. "You're going to say that to me?"

"Ana," he says desperately.

"No! If you want to know what happened so much, then fine," I shout through a veil of tears and wave my two fingers in front of his face. "He slid his hands up my thighs and put his fingers in me." Christian's face pales considerably. "All while telling me how you'd kill yourself if something happened to me! Are you happy now? Does that make you feel better?"

"Ana," he chokes out and reaches out to me again.

I swat his hand away again. I can't deal with this. "Go fuck yourself, Christian," I mutter and before anyone can stop me, I open the door and climb out into the rain. I can hear Christian yelling for me, before I slam the door shut. I jog quickly across the crosswalk and down the next street. I wipe the biting rain off my face.

I can't believe he just said that. But then again I can. Whenever he's upset, whenever something doesn't go the way he wants it to, he turns into a petulant adolescent. I hazard a glance back and I see Sawyer jumping out of the car right as the light turns green and Taylor is left with no other option but to go with traffic. Thankfully, he's stuck on the other side of the busy street. With the SUV gone out of sight, I stop at the curb and call a cab.

"Where to?" The cabbie asks me disinterestedly and I give him the first address I can think of. He eases back into traffic. In the passenger side mirror I can see Sawyer chasing after me frantically.

**IIIIIIIIIIIII**

I knock on the door outside Kate's apartment. _Please let her be home from work,_ I think desperately. I glance around me worriedly, suddenly wishing I didn't leave Sawyer behind. Hyde could be anywhere. Quickly, I knock on the door again.

"Yeah, yeah, I head you the first time," Kate says, unlocking the door. She takes one look at me and asks, "what did he do to you?" From my puffy red eyes, and soaking wet clothes it must be obvious.

"I'm pregnant," I whisper, sniffling.

Her eyes widen. "Oh no, Ana, come here!" She says, pulling me into a hug and dragging me into the apartment. The flood gates open up, and I start crying again. She leads me into the living room where Elliot and Ethan are sitting watching a football game. They look up at me surprised. _Shit!_ I think. _I didn't count on them being here._

"Whoa, what's wrong?" Elliot asks worriedly. Both of them stand up and start making their way towards us.

"You're god dammed brother," Kate says fiercely. "That's what's wrong."

Once again I'm thankful for the tenacious side Katherine Kavanagh, because not only does she kick Elliot out in record time, but she sends Ethan out for Chinese food. My stomach grumbles at the mention of food, but she tugs me into her bedroom and gives me her pair of flannel bunny rabbit pajamas to change into. I pull off my soggy clothes and change into them slowly, all of my previous adrenaline gone and replaced by exhaustion. A small part of me feels guilty. Christian is probably freaking out about where I am; I left my phone in the SUV. My subconscious scowl's. _It's the least he deserves,_ she says angrily. _He'll figure it out eventually._

Kate is back in the living room waiting for me on the couch. I walk over and sit down tiredly, curling myself up into a ball. "Tell me what happened. From the beginning," she says.

I didn't come here with the intention of talking to Kate; I just wanted to be somewhere away from Christian - not forever, but just for the night, maybe longer. Not for the first time since I jumped out of the car, I rub my flat stomach. _It's just for now, baby… I hope. _But I find myself spilling my guts to her anyway. She listens silently the entire time, scowling.

"That fucker!" she says angrily when I'm finished. "He said that to you?" I bury my head in my hands and nod. "I get the whole 'I don't want to be a father' bitch fit, but- Ugh... Thundercunt!" I let out a sob. _Why is this happening so soon?_

Kate stops her rant, and pulls me into another hug. "Oh Ana, it's going to be okay," she says unconvincingly and pats my back. "It's a baby, not some life threatening disease."

"But what about my marriage?" I cry.

She rolls her eyes. "Grey wouldn't leave you if you turned into IT the clown," she sighs, rocking me back and forth. "He worships the ground you walk on. He'll get over it eventually. You're not the first couple who's had an unwanted pregnancy, you know."

I shake my head. "No," I mumble. "Not unwanted, just… unexpected."

"Unexpected," she agrees.

The door rattles for a moment, and Ethan comes through holding a white plastic bag. He closes it quickly behind him. "Uh," he says awkwardly setting the bag down on the counter. "I think Christian's on his way up."

"Nope!" Kate says loudly. "I don't think so. Don't even think about letting him in here, Ethan!" She snaps, back on her rant and stomps into her bedroom.

She comes back brandishing a baseball bat, right as someone pounds on the door. I groan and sink into the couch. All I want is somewhere quiet, so I can figure things out. Ethan rolls his eyes as she marches to the door. "Don't worry, Ana-banana," Ethan tries to joke and leans against the back of the couch. "Whatever it is, she'll put him back in his place." I don't say anything – he obviously doesn't know Christian very well.

"What do you want, Grey?" Kate asks, much more civil than I thought she'd be.

I can't see Christian from here, but I can hear his voice and it makes my stomach knot up painfully. "Is she here?" he asks her desperately. "Is Ana here?"

"Yes," Kate replies coldly. "What's it to you?"

He makes a move to come in, and Kate lifts up the baseball bat and pokes him in the chest. "Let me in, Kavanagh," he growls.

"After what you did today?" she snaps back. "I'd rather be eaten by a gang of cannibals."

"That can be arranged," he argues back. "Now let me the fuck in. She's my wife."

"I'm not your wife, Christian," I mutter tiredly from my spot. "I'm the pregnant woman you took your frustration out on today."

"Fuck! Ana," he calls out, and makes another attempt to get through the door.

"Please go away, Christian."

"Are you leaving me?" He chokes out, terrified. I pause. _Am I?_ I look down at my stomach. _No,_ I decide. _Not unless I have to._

I get up and walk to the door so I can see him. He looks like an emotional wreck. I move so were face to face. "I should," I say bitterly. "I really should. What you said- Christian, that hurt. More than anything, that hurt. How could you be so cruel?" He doesn't say anything, just stares at my feet, expecting the worst. "But no. I'm not going anywhere. I told you I wasn't. But if you think I'm going home with you right now, you're crazy." My subconscious gives me a high five. _Good job,_ she tells me. _Stand up to him._ "Go. I'll call Sawyer if I decide to come home." I close the door in his face before I can change my mind.

**A/N: Reviews!**


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

It's after 3:30 in the morning by the time I gain enough courage to go home. Kate leads me, still wearing her pair of lucky pajamas, to the elevator. She steps in with me and presses the ground floor button. I feel bad enough for leaving Sawyer behind, I'd hate to wake him up this late to come and get me on top of it. "It'll be okay, Ana," she says quietly. "You'll see."

I just nod numbly. I feel terrible. I can't believe I slammed the door in his face. Just because he was cruel to me, didn't mean I needed to be cruel to him too. I try to distract myself with thinking about the baby, but it does nothing but intensify my guilt. The elevator doors open and we step out into the parking garage below her apartment. It's brightly lit and completely empty, but it still sends a shiver down my spine.

We start walking towards Kate's car, when I notice the familiar R-8 parked a few spaces away. _How long has he been here?_ I wonder. "I think I already have a ride," I tell her quietly. From here, I can vaguely make out his stiff outline through the tinted windows. _He's not still angry at me, is he?_ My subconscious snorts at me. _That's a stupid question,_ she tells me. _It's Christian freaking Grey. Of course he'll still be mad at you._

"Call me if you need anything," Kate says pulling me into one last hug.

I nod. "I will." She heads back for the elevator and I slowly make my way over to the car. I prepare myself to do battle again. I don't want too, I'm beyond exhausted, but I'm not going to let him walk over me. I step up to the driver's window and look in. heart twinges. His head is tilted back against the headrest, and his eyes are closed, asleep. I can tell by the set of his jaw and the thinness of his lips that he's stressed out. _Oh, fifty. This is all my fault… _I don't want to wake him up, but I feel very exposed out here all alone. I suppress a frightened shiver and tap gently on the glass.

He shoots up in his seat and looks up at me groggily. He presses the lock on the door and the click echoes through the silent parking garage. I walk around to the passenger side and get in."Hey," he whispers hoarsely, watching me warily.

"Hey," I whisper back, biting my lip.

He hesitantly reaches his hand out and touches my cast. His eyebrows rise incrementally. "You got it wet?"

"It started to rain," I reply meekly. "I'll take care of it in the morning."

He nods slowly and says nothing. We sit in the car staring out the windshield for what feels like an eternity. I use the silence to take in his disheveled appearance. His hair sticking out at all angles, I would guess from running his hands through it so much. I also notice that he's still wearing the suit from today. Or was it yesterday? Regardless, I'm starting to get the feeling that he's been camped out here all night. _Oh fifty, what have I done? What have _we_ done?_

"I thought you were leaving me," he says finally, his voice cracking with heavy emotion.

I shake my head. "I'm not going anywhere, Christian. I love you too much."

He turns his head to me, and I gasp at the pain in his grey eyes. "You said that you should."

"I was angry at you," I admit slowly. "I can understand you being upset about a baby. I'm not exactly thrilled at the timing. I can even deal with you yelling at me. But you asked me if this was your baby, Christian. I'm sorry for jumping out of the car and I'm sorry for saying that to you. But do you have any idea how cheap that made me feel?"

"I didn't mean it that way. But you wouldn't talk to me about what happened," he says defensively, burying his face in his hands. "I've told you everything about my childhood, Ana. Why wouldn't you tell me? Why don't you trust me?"

"It's not a matter of trust Christian," I say weakly, at a loss for words. I look out my window, hoping for some kind of answer he'll be able to understand. "I…"

_ Holy fuck!_ My heart jumps into my throat. A few cars away, I can see the top of someone's head peeking over the roof of a car, watching us intently. From their build I can tell it's a man in a bulky black hoodie. I force myself to slowly turn back to staring through the windshield, in an attempt to look like I didn't see them. My stomach plummets to my knees. _This can't be happening. Not again._

"Christian," I whisper, terrified. Christian looks up. "There's someone out there. He's watching us."

Christian stiffens. "Fuck," he curses quietly, running his hands through his hair. "Where?" he asks urgently, sitting up in the drivers seat.

"To the right of us, two cars back," I tell him shakily. I focus on the detailing on the dashboard, urging myself not to think. All I can see is Jack Hyde's face in my mind and I snap my eyes shut. I try to picture someone else's face, anyone else's, but it won't work; they all turn back in to Jack. Not for the first time since the break in, I find myself unable to breathe.

I hear Christian lean over closer to me, but I'm afraid to open my eyes. Out of nowhere I feel his lips attach to mine, pulling me into a deep kiss. _What the?_ I open my eyes and try to pull back, but his hand comes up behind my neck and holds me there. It takes me a few moments to catch on to what he's doing. He's trying to get a look him. "I see him," Christian mumbles into my mouth, calmer than he has any right to be. It sets off alarm bells in my head. He only ever talks like this when there's something wrong. I shiver. "Baby, I'm going to pull back," he continues. "When I count to three, I want you to put your seatbelt on as fast as you can. Can you do that for me?"

"Okay," I breathe, shaking like a leaf.

"One. Two." I take a deep breath, in an attempt to calm myself down. I reach my hand out underneath the window for the strap to the seatbelt. "Three."

Christian hauls himself off of me and quickly turns the ignition. The R-8 roars to life underneath us. I reach frantically for my seatbelt, fumbling with it. Christian throws the car into reverse and guns the gas, and I have to throw my hands out on the dashboard to keep from hitting it. Out of the corner of my eye, I can see the man aiming something at us. _It's a gun, _I realize.

"Christian!" I scream just as the windshield shatters in front us, sending small pieces of glass raining down on us.

"Mother fucker!" Christian yells out, ducking. "Get down Anastasia!"

Seatbelt forgotten, I do as I'm told. I hear another gunshot and flinch, but it bounces off the car. Christian slams on the breaks and quickly forces the Audi into first gear. I'm pushed back up into my seat as the car accelerates. For a second, I think Christian is going to run him over, but the man in black dives out of the way just in time. With the way now clear, Christian sits back up and slams his foot on the gas. We almost clear the exit of the parking garage, when the gunman lets out another flurry of bullets.

There is a loud boom, and the Audi goes berserk. Christian tightens his hands around the steering wheel and frantically tries to regain control of the swerving car before we crash into something. He manages to steer the car through the narrow exit of the parking garage and out into the street, how I'll never be able to figure out.

"Are you okay?" He asks me frantically.

"I think so," I say shakily, leaning over to pull the seatbelt on. The car continues to buck underneath us as we drive.

"Damnit!" Christian shouts, looking in the rear view mirror.

"What?" I whip my head around. Behind us, a large white pick-up truck comes flying out of the parking garage. I watch in horror as the pick-up starts to gain on us. "Christian, Go faster!" I yell over the sound of the wind. "He's catching up with us!"

"I can't!" he yells back, eyes ahead. "Fucker blew out the back tire. I can barely control it as it is!" _Ditch the car!_ My subconscious screams at me. _Make a run for it!_ I look out the window, searching for desperately for somewhere we can jump out. My prayers are answered in the form of an upcoming subway sign.

"Christian, look! The subway!"

He seems to guess my plan, because he slams on the brakes. He pulls up so my door is only a few steps away from the staircase entrance. "Run Ana!" He yells at me, and he dives out through his door. I struggle one-handed with the seatbelt for a moment, before doing the same. He runs around the car, grabs my hand and tugs me towards the stairs. By some miracle, I manage not to trip as we run down the steep steps.

We emerge into a long underground hallway and run for the turn stalls directly up ahead. I clamber up on the nearest turn stall and swing my leg over it. Christian jumps the stall next to me gracefully and helps pull me over. I can't help but be a little bit embarrassed._ I really need to get back to seeing Claude_ I think tiredly. A gunshot pulls me back into my unfortunate reality, and I feel a bullet fly right past my cheek. It lodges into the wall with a loud _Crack!_

Christian urges me into one last push to the awaiting subway car against the far wall of the station. My legs are burning from the strain, but I muster up one last bit of strength and bolt towards the closing doors.

My foot catches on the gap and I fall down on my hands and knees on the floor of the car. The impact jars my already broken arm, and I yelp in pain. Christian slides in through the doors right as they close. I gasp for breath. One thing is for sure, I will never be an athlete. Once the subway car starts to move, he helps me stand up and dusts me off.

I sway with the movement of the car underneath us, and nearly lose my balance again, but Christian catches me before I can fall back down. My legs are complete jelly. I lean into his chest, exhausted. He wraps his arms around me and buries his face in my hair. I can feel his heart thumping wildly in his chest. Eventually, he leads me down the aisle to two empty seats.

I sit down shakily and blush in embarrassment when I realize we aren't alone. There are five people at the front of the car watching us curiously. _Oh great,_ I think. _I'm in a subway car, with my well-dressed billionaire husband and a group of early morning commuters, in a thin pair of bunny rabbit pajamas_. I wrap my arms around myself self-consciously and sink down in my seat. Christian pulls his cell phone out of his pocket and dials a number. I can only assume that it's Taylor. A small part of me wonders how he's able to pick up reception in here but then I mentally shrug it off as unimportant.

We stay on the subway until it reaches University St. and get off. I shiver at the freezing breeze coming off the sound. Christian shrugs off his suit jacket and wraps it around my shoulders; my cast is too bulky- and too soggy- to fit in the tailored sleeve.

"Where are we going?" I ask tiredly as we cross the street. I almost have to jog to keep up with his fast pace.

"There's a 24 hour diner down the street," he explains, slowing down for me. "We'll wait for the security team there." It's a four minute walk from the train station to the diner. Thankfully it's a dry four minutes with no rain.

Christian opens the door for me, and I step inside. I stop in the hallway for a moment, soaking up the warm air. "Come on baby," Christian says gently, wrapping his arm around my waist. Thankfully the waitress doesn't recognize us. Although she gives me a weird look that asks what someone like me is doing with someone like Christian. I bite my lip.

She leads us to a booth at the back, as per Christian's request, and hands us two menus. She promises to be back in just a minute. I stare at her darkly as she goes. I sit down and Christian slides in next to me, wrapping his arm around my shoulders. I snuggle against his warm chest.

"I miss the Mediterranean," I mumble exhausted, all traces of adrenaline gone from my system. Despite the warmth of the restaurant, I can feel the cold seeping in to my bones.

Christian chuckles softly. "Is that a request for our next vacation?"

"I'll take anywhere warmer than here," I say, opening the menu. _Hell,_ I think,_ I'd take a vacation if it meant escaping from Jack Hyde…_

"I'll have to remember that." He opens a menu and glances through it. "Do you want anything to eat?" he asks me. I shake my head.

The waitress comes back and I notice the top two buttons of her shirt have come undone. I frown. "What can I get for you two?" she asks excitedly, oogling over Christian.

"Coffee and a breakfast tea please," he replies looking down at the menu, pointedly avoiding eye contact with her. "Twinnings if you have it. That's all."

"Actually, make that tea a warm glass of milk," I say. She nods and saunters back to the kitchen.

Christian raises an eyebrow at me in curiosity. "No tea?"

I bite my lip. "I don't know what I can and can't drink right now," I say awkwardly, looking to see if there is anyone within earshot.

Christian stiffens next to me. "I think tea would be fine," he says slowly. "But it's probably best to be on the safe side. I'll add it to my research tomorrow."

"Thank you." I relax into his chest. _He'll add it to his research tomorrow. He wants to research about it. Our baby._

"Just give me some time to come around."

**A/N: Remember, the best way to get me to update quickly is to review :D**


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

It's the dull ache in my arm that wakes me. I roll over to snuggle into Christian, but all I feel is air. Confused, I crack an eye open. He's not in bed. I glance over to the alarm clock on the nightstand. _Holy shit!_ It's half passed noon! Groaning, I sit up and lean my head against the headboard. My subconscious mentally counts off everything that happened in the last 24 hours. _Car chase, someone almost shot you- again, near death car accident, big fight with Christian, and oh yeah! By the way you're pregnant! _She adds sarcastically.

I suddenly want nothing more than to bury myself back under the covers and disappear. You don't have to deal with unexpected pregnancies, upset husbands, and crazy Jack Hyde's in your sleep, surely? I sigh – I know there's no truth in that. Whenever I close my eyes, Jack is lurking behind them.

I haul myself out of bed and walk over to the mirror. _The same mirror I looked at yesterday morning, before everything went to shit_, I think darkly. My gaze drops down to my stomach. _I'm pregnant. In less than a year, I'm going to have a baby. Christian's baby._ I still can't entirely wrap my head around the idea. I lift Christian's t-shirt up and turn to the side, analyzing the flat shape of my abdomen. I'll barely have known Christian over a year when this baby comes.

_Oh great,_ I think. _I'm turning into my mother…_ The thought sends a shiver down my spine. Will Christian die, just like my father? I try to reassure myself, but it does nothing to quench my fear. _We almost died last night,_ I remind myself. If he hadn't gotten control of the R-8 at the last second, we would have crashed in to that concrete wall. Jack may be after me, but I know it's Christian that he really wants. And what happens when Jack finds out that I'm pregnant? Will he kill it too?

I rub my stomach unconsciously as I look at myself. _Why did you have to come so soon, little one?_

A familiar pair of arms wrap around me and pull me away from the mirror. "What's wrong?" Christian asks me worriedly. "You're white as a sheet." He sits down on the end of the bed and pulls me onto his lap.

I bite my lip. "You almost died last night," I whisper, reaching up to run my hand through his dark copper hair.

Christian shakes his head. "I'm fine," he counters, matter of fact, "and so are you."

"I'm not fine, Christian," I say, fighting tears. "I'm pregnant. What happens when Jack figures that out?" He tightens his arms around me, protectively. "He's not going to just stop-."

"No, baby. Please don't cry," he says urgently. He gently takes hold of my chin and points my face up so he can kiss my eyelids. "This will be over soon, I promise. I'll do whatever it takes. Jack Hyde will be locked away in a jail cell before he ever finds out."

The way he says that chills me to the bone. Something's happened. "What is it?" I ask him warily.

"Don't worry about it, Ana. It's nothing," he lies, pulling me back to his chest and burying his face in my neck.

"Christian, tell me," I urge. Something is wrong; he's acting strange.

"Let me worry about it. I need you to stop stressing out – it's not healthy." He plants a string of kisses at the hollow of my neck, right _there_.

"You not telling me will only stress me out more." I argue. I refuse to let him distract me. "It's Hyde, isn't it?"

He lets out a frustrated sigh and pulls his face away from my neck. "Sawyer collected the R-8 this morning," he admits, finally. "Whoever chased us last night doubled back to the car after they lost us and left a photograph."

"A photo? Of what?" _Getting answers from this man is like pulling teeth._

His grey eyes darken. "Of you."

I take a deep calming breath. "A photo of me?" He nods slowly, watching for my reaction. I recall all the times I've been out of the apartment in the last two weeks. I don't remember anyone being close enough to get a photo of me. The only times I've been outside is yesterday, and when I left – when I left the hospital. I frown. "He was there, outside the hospital, wasn't he?"

Christian stiffens underneath me. "How did you know that? Did you see him?" he asks with a hint of irritation in his voice.

I shake my head and he relaxes underneath me. "No… I don't think so, at least. My eyes were closed. It just seems like something he would do."

"Something he would do?"

I shrug. "You heard the tapes, Christian, you know what he said." I shudder at the recollection.

"We're going to catch him, baby. I'm going to keep you safe. Both of you."

I give him a sad smile. "I know."

"My mother is coming over today," he says changing the subject. "I want her to take a look at your arm."

"Does she know about what happened last night?"

"Yes," he says gently, with a hint of irritation in his voice. "It's all over the news this morning."

"Oh." I bite my lip and look away. _The media... Another reason to keep this pregnancy under wraps…_

"Don't bite your lip," Christian chides, running his nose up the curve of my neck. "You know what that does to me." My heart rate rises and arousal pools deep in my belly, distracting me. Only this man could turn me into a pile of mush with just a few words. I wriggle uncomfortably on his lap. His mouth twitches up into a smile. "Can I help you Mrs. Grey?"

"Yes," I say breathlessly. "Please."

Smirking, his hands drop down to my behind. "Well, because you asked nicely…"

He lifts me up and sets me on the bed next to him, pulling me into a deep kiss. I respond back hungrily. Weeks of mutual sexual frustration finally begin to take hold and before I know it, Christian is on top of me peeling off my shirt.

With my breasts now fully exposed, he dips down and teases one of my nipples between his teeth. My back arches and I gasp involuntarily. "So responsive," he mutters before leisurely moving to the other. I squirm at the intense sensation. He releases my nipple and leaves a trail of wet kisses down to my belly, hooking his thumbs around my sweatpants and panties. He makes quick work of pulling them off and resumes his ministrations.

I moan loudly when he reaches the apex between my thighs. "Christian!"

I can feel him grin against my pubic bone. "I've missed you like this, Anastasia. The way you taste," he runs his tongue over my clitoris, "it's exquisite." I convulse underneath him.

He slips a finger in me as his tongue circles my clit. I squeeze my eyes closed as the memory hits me. _Jack smiles and leans in closer and pushes a finger into my sex and I clamp my teeth down on my lip to bite back a scream. "I've wanted you ever since that night at SIP."_ I gasp. "Don't!"

Christian pushes himself off me. "Baby, what's wrong?"

I crack my open. He is sitting on his knees at the end of the bed, watching me wide-eyed and worried. I take a deep calming breath. _I want this,_ I remind my subconscious. _I need this._ "It's nothing, I just…" I trail off; I can't put words to this unnamed emotion stirring inside me.

Tentatively, Christian climbs up to the head of the bed and leans down until we're nose to nose. "You're not ready," he says quietly, more of a statement than a question. I look at him meekly. _That's not it,_ I want to tell him, but I can't. Pain flashes across his face, and his grey eyes darken. "Fuck," he whispers resting his forehead on mine. "I should have known… after what he did to you… I'm so sorry."

_Oh no, fifty! _My heart clenches in my chest. His legendary self-loathing is in full swing. Tentatively I reach and touch his cheek. "No," I croak. "I want this, Christian. I want you. I just… you touching me there… I can't." I don't really know how to explain it, but in these terms, I hope it's something he can understand.

"Hush," he says, kissing my nose. "I get it. Are you sure you're ready for this?"

"Yes," I say meekly.

He lowers his weight onto me and wraps his hand around the back of my neck, mouth on mine. I can feel his erection poking into my hip. My hands reach down, searching for the waistband of his jeans. He's wearing too many clothes.

Fumbling with the fly, I tug at his jeans. His erection springs free. "Ana," he groans rubbing himself against me. He sits up suddenly and pulls his shirt over his head. He kicks his jeans off the rest of the way and hovers over me. "Your. Sure. You're. Ready?" he mutters in between kisses.

I tug at his bottom lip in response and he groans again. He slides into me, filling me. My back arches off the bed and I moan loudly at the arousing sensation. My mouth goes dry as he pulls out and then pushes back in again. Anxiety starts to bubble up in my stomach and my eyes close.

Christian stops inside of me. "Open your eyes, Ana," he commands gently.

My eyes flutter open and lock with his. The anxiety starts to subside. He starts moving inside of me again, watching me lustfully. Slowly, I can feel him pick up the pace, thrusting into me again and again. The oh-so-familiar pressure starts to build up inside of me. I clench my muscles and lift my hips up to meet him, craving friction.

"Hold still," he says through gritted teeth. He's close, I can tell by the stiffness of his jaw.

I try, but it's no use. The last three weeks are starting to melt away; Him leaving for New York, Jack, my near death experiences, finding out I'm pregnant. All I feel is an intense need for release. "Christian!" I cry out. He takes my mouth, his tongue encircling mine desperately. My hands climb up and cling to his strong shoulders as he thrusts. I can feel his muscles roll underneath my finger tips and my insides start to quiver.

I explode around him, shattering into a million pieces. It's a very cathartic release.

Christian stills a few moments later, crying out my name as he comes.

IIIIIIIIIIIII

"How are you feeling," Christian asks me, running his finger over the angry red scar on my side. We're lying naked on top of the covers, spooning.

I look up at him and smile shyly. "Hmmm."

He cracks a smile. "Monosyllabic as ever, Mrs. Grey?"

I giggle. "Hmmm."

"I called Dr. Greene's office this morning and made an appointment for Monday," he says, changing the subject.

"I'm supposed to go back to work on Monday," I remind him.

"Work can wait for another day," he says tiredly. "It's the soonest appointment Greene had available."

I sigh. We've already had this argument a few times, but I don't want to ruin our little bubble. "What time?"

"2:30," he says. "I'll leave GEH early and pick you up from here."

I frown. "I don't think you should come with me," I say delicately.

His hand stops its ministrations, leaving my scar itchy. "I'm coming with you," he says guardedly, and I can tell he's annoyed.

I take a deep breath. "I want you to be there Christian, but you can't," I say quickly before he can retort. "If a woman goes to a gynecologist it's a regular checkup. If a man goes with her, it's because she's pregnant. I need to this to be quiet until Hyde gets caught. It's a dead giveaway."

"I'll bring Greene here then," he argues. I sigh. _There goes the bubble…_

I want to roll my eyes. "What, she's going to come to the apartment with a giant ultrasound machine? That's even more obvious."

He scowls and site up, giving me a view of his sculpted back muscles. My inner goddess rises from her sex induced stupor and I look away. Now isn't the time to get distracted. "I know my reception about this was luke warm at best." There's an unnamed emotion in his voice. "But I want to go."

"Christian, please," I beg, desperately, trying a different tactic. "This isn't about me being angry at you still or not wanting you there with me. I just said that I did. But this baby… This baby is to me, what I am to you." He looks back at me over his shoulder, brow furrowed in confusion. _Oh, my lost fifty._ "I'll do whatever it takes to keep it safe."

Christian's lips crack into a small sardonic smile and I know I'm off the hook. "Between the two of us, this kid is never going to do anything fun, is he?" He lies back down next to me and I snuggle into him. His chest hair tickles my nose.

"Or she," I remind him gently. "It could always be a girl."

He frowns and doesn't say anything. I sigh. That's an issue for another day.

**A/N: Phew! That one was a hard one to write. I ended up writing most of chapter 13 before I could even touch this one. To top it off, I had to write my first sex scene, a super dramatic one at that. I tried to write around it (that's part of what took so long) but I needed that turning point in Ana's recovery. I'm trying desperately to fight through my writers block. Good news though- I'm almost done with the next chapter! (lol) I think this is part of the authors note where I beg for reviews...**


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 12

"Well, you're definitely pregnant," Dr. Greene says mostly to herself, face buried in a manila folder. "I find it odd though that it didn't show up when we did the last pregnancy test. It must have been a false negative."

"Can the injection cause any complications?" I ask her anxiously. "Seeing as I took it when I was already pregnant?"

Dr. Greene sets the folder down on the counter. "It can," she says. My heart drops. "Because you had the shot when you were already pregnant, there's a higher chance of you giving birth prematurely. The baby being underweight is another thing we'll want to keep track of. In some cases, the shot can cause a miscarriage," she adds gently.

"Miscarriage?"

She nods. "It doesn't mean that you will, Mrs. Grey," she clarifies soothingly, very uncharacteristic for her. "Only that there's a higher chance of it. You'll want to put as little strain on yourself as possible. We'll give you a few extra precautions; No caffeine, keep your stress levels low, and you should be fine. You'll just have to be careful." It eases my concern a little bit, but it's still a worrisome concept.

"Take off your underwear and put this on. I'll be right back," she says, pulling a hospital gown out of a nearby drawer.

I take the proffered gown and wait for her to leave before I shimmy my jeans off. I change into the gown quickly and fold my jeans and panties on the counter. I sigh as I walk back over to the exam table. _I wish Christian was here with me…_ My subconscious shakes her head at me. _You're the one who told him not to come!_

_Jack can't know about this baby,_ I remind myself, rubbing my knees self-consciously. It's the only way to keep it safe. Christian going with me to a gynecologist's office would be a dead giveaway. Even if Jack isn't watching us, which I'm almost positive he is, there is still the press to worry about. I glance up at a poster of a pregnant woman and frown. _How long will I be able to hide this, though?_ Not for long if that poster is remotely accurate. Which I'm sure it is; Dr. Greene doesn't seem the type to get caught up in the romantic notions of pregnancy. Or caught up by anything, for that matter.

Dr. Greene comes back in, pushing a cart of high tech medical equipment, dragging me out of my thoughts. I glance at it warily.

"This is a transvaginal ultrasound," she explains, holding up a long, thin rod. "If you're just pregnant, which I'm pretty sure you are, we'll be able to get a better look with this." _That? In me?_ I think awkwardly. She pushes the cart over to the wall by the exam table and presses a few buttons. The blank screen blinks on. "Lift and bend your knees, then part them wide," she says pulling up a seat at the foot of the table. Mortified, I do as I'm told. With my knees up I can't see what she's doing, but I can hear the tear of a condom wrapper.

Dr. Greene inserts the probe slowly, and I have to keep from squirming at the uncomfortableness of it. I glance over to the screen, trying to distract myself from thinking about it, but it's too fuzzy to make anything out. She gently moves the probe around, searching. It's unsettling.

"There," she says finally, freezing the screen. She reaches out and points at a tiny dark blip on the screen. "Baby Grey."

I stare at the blip, shell shocked. There's a little blip on the screen… A little blip in my belly… Wow. _Baby Grey._ And just like that, I'm suddenly a mess of tears.

"Congratulations," she tells me, passing over a box of tissues. "I would say you're about six weeks along already. It looks like the shot failed completely." I'm too distracted to listen to anything else she says; my brain is stuck on the screen. _That's a baby,_ I think incredulously. _My baby. Christian's baby, _our_ baby. _

The fact that I'm pregnant finally starts to sinks in. I've known since Wednesday, but its only now, five days later, that it feels real. In just under eight months from now, Christian and I are going to have a son- or daughter. A living, breathing, honest to goodness baby.

More than ever, I feel the need to protect my little family. I will not let Jack Hyde anywhere near my little blip. I don't care what I have to do, or what it costs me, just so long as Christian and our blip are safe.

Dr. Greene pulls the probe out and leaves me to get dressed. I pull my panties and jeans back on, distractedly. What is my mom going to think about this? _Holy shit!_ How is Ray going to react when we tell him? Christian's parents? I shudder. I know Grace will be ecstatic, but I don't know about Carrick. Things with him have been awkward since the whole pre-nup fiasco before the wedding.

The physician's assistant, Mary I think her name is, comes and gives me a stack of papers and pamphlets, and a bottle of vitamins to take home.

Sawyer is waiting for me outside the entrance, and walks me out to the car. I follow him in an excited daze. _We'll have to pick one of the rooms at the new house to be a nursery, _I think.

"Headed home, Mrs. Grey?" Sawyer asks once we get to the car.

I nod slide into the back seat of the SUV. Once we're moving, I pull the stack of papers out and open up one of the pamphlets. I'm busy reading the title when something slips out and falls. I fish the errant paper off the floorboard and take a look at it.

It's my ultrasound picture. I run my fingers over little blip. I didn't know Dr. Greene had it printed out for me. An idea crosses my mind and I smile. "Actually Sawyer, can we stop by GEH?"

IIIIIIIIIIIII

"Mrs. Grey!" Andrea says, surprised, looking up from her desk. "Can I help you?"

I step up to her desk. "Yes. Is he busy?" I ask, gesturing at the closed door to Christian's office with a nod of my head.

"Mr. Grey is in the boardroom with the Chinese delegates," she says apologetically. "Do you want me to get him for you?"

"Oh, no," I tell her. "It's fine. I just wanted to pop my head in. Do you know how long he'll be?"

"Not very long, Mrs. Grey. You're welcome to wait for him in his office, if you'd like," she offers.

I thank her and step into the empty office, closing the door behind me. _Hmmm…_ I think once I'm inside. It feels like only yesterday that I tripped through the doorway and into my new life. _Talk about Alice in Wonderland._ Although in the grand scheme of things, it might as well have been yesterday. We've only known each other for four or five months, apparently six weeks of which I've spent incubating little blip.

I rub my stomach unconsciously and wander over to his desk, sitting down on the large office chair. It's surprisingly comfortable, and I can smell Christian's lingering scent on it. I pull the pamphlets out of my purse and go back to reading them.

_Holy cow!_ I think, when I open up one on dietary restrictions. Inside there's a super long list of foods to stay away from. I frown. No tea for eight months?_ You're killing me here, Blip._ I browse down the list. _No soft cheeses, no deli meat, no raw meat, fish or shellfish. No fish high in mercury, no unpasteurized milk products._

"Making yourself comfortable, Mrs. Grey?" I jump up in surprise. Christian is leaning against the desk, staring down at me.

"It's a very comfy chair Mr. Grey," I say coyly, giving it a small spin. "You'll have to buy me one for my birthday."

He smirks and steps around his desk, bending down to kiss me. I stand up to give him his chair back and he pulls me into his lap. "What did Dr. Greene say?"

"I'm definitely pregnant, it wasn't a false positive," I say quietly, outlining the line of his jaw with my finger.

He sighs gently and plants a kiss on my forehead. "Congratulations, Mrs. Grey."

"Congratulations, Mr. Grey."

"I love you so much, baby," he says, lovingly pushing a strand of hair out of my face.

"You know… in a few months you won't be able to call me that anymore," I tease gently.

"What? baby?" I nod. His lips twitch up in an unsure smile. "I guess I'll be calling you _and_ junior that then, won't I?"

I scrunch my nose up playfully. "Its name is blip, not junior."

"Blip?" His smile grows more confident.

I twist and reach for the pile of pamphlets on his desk, pull out my ultrasound picture and hand it to him. "Blip."

His lips part and his eyes widen infinitesimally, when he sees it; our little sepia blip on a field of white noise. "Baby Grey," he whispers wondrously, reading the information on the top right corner of the image. "It's so… small. Do you know- did she give you a due date or something?"

"I'm six weeks. It's too soon for a due date."

He nods, stunned, eyes still focused on the image. "Wow."

"Are you happy?" I ask tentatively.

He stares up at me, and I look into his lost, mercurial grey eyes. _Oh, my beautiful fifty…_ "Yes," he says finally, sounding surprised. "Very much so."

My face splits into a big grin. "Me too."

"What else did she say?" he asks curiously. "Did you ask her about the Depo shot?"

My smile falls. "Low birth weight, early delivery," I say somberly, picking at a loose hair on his shoulder. He watches me closely. "Miscarriage…"

Christian frowns. "Baby-" he starts to say. I put my finger to his lips, stopping him.

"Don't," I say quietly. "I don't want to think about it right now."

"I suppose we'll have to tell my parents soon," he mercifully changes the subject, rubbing circles into my arms with his thumbs in a comforting gesture. He frowns in mock horror, trying to cheer me up. It works. "And yours. I wonder what Ray will do to me when he finds out I've impregnated his daughter immediately after her honeymoon."

"During her honeymoon, Mr. Grey," I correct softly. "Most impolitely, I must add..."

He contemplates what I've said for a second and then grins, serendipitously. "You shouldn't give me more reasons to buy _the Fair Lady_, Mrs. Grey," he scolds, mockingly. "My self-control is already struggling as it is." I roll my eyes. _Boys and their toys_. "And Carla will be smug after the bassinet incident," he adds.

"Mia is going to freak."

He snorts. "She'll be more excited than all of us put together, I'm sure."

**A/N: 150 reviews! Thanks so much to all of my awesome reviewers for your support. Keep them coming! I'm busy typing away on chapter 14 today, so hopefully I'll have it done in a few days.**


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14

Keane's _Somewhere Only We _Know blares out of the alarm clock. My eyes flutter open and I yawn. Christian is tangled up around me, as per usual, making me uncomfortably warm. I reach out and turn off it off, with a grumble. Christian stirs next to me.

"Good morning, Mrs. Grey," he says happily, kissing my naked shoulder. "Time to get up."

I groan and snuggle into him. I'm exhausted. "No," I mewl.

"Come on baby, you have to get up. You don't want to be late on your first day back. Unless you've changed your mind…" he trails off, hopefully.

"I'm going," I sigh, hauling myself out of bed.

I let the hot water of the shower wake me up, although it doesn't help much. Eventually I give up and get out, wrapping a warm towel around myself. I grab a smaller one and dry my hair with it.

Christian is still lounging in bed, still naked and fiddling with his phone, when I step back into the bedroom. Decently dry, I peel off the towel and throw it in the hamper by the door.

He looks up from his phone at me and raises his eyebrows. "You're a sight for sore eyes, Mrs. Grey," he says suggestively.

I roll my eyes. "Don't you think it's a little early in the morning to be propositioning your wife?" I ask innocently as I step into the walk in closet. Picking out a sleeveless, navy A-line dress, I bend down to grab a matching pair of heels. I giggle when I see Christian's bare legs from in between my own.

He sets his hands on my exposed rear and squeezes gently. It hotwires directly to my groin. "Hmm…" he says. "That is a nice view."

I grab the shoes and stand back up. "I know what you're doing," I say sardonically. "Don't think that I don't."

He smirks. "Is it working?"

I stand on my tip toes and kiss him on the nose. "No, it isn't. Go take your shower." He pouts and playfully sulks over to the bathroom. I get ready slowly, in an attempt to conserve energy. _If only I could get away with wearing my sweatpants…_ I think as I pull up a pair of black stockings. I stare at them lying in the hamper, wistfully. I pull the dress on and step into the heels, and head out towards the kitchen.

"Good morning, Mrs. Grey," Mrs. Jones says excitedly. "Mr. Grey told me the good news last night. Congratulations!"

I blush. "Thank you."

She waves it off as nothing. "What would you like for breakfast?"

"Just a bowl of granola is fine please," I say, sitting down at the breakfast bar.

"When she says granola, she means pancakes, or something heartier," Christian says dryly, strolling into the kitchen. Mrs. Jones smiles broadly and busies herself with cooking. I turn around and scowl at him. "Don't look at me like that," he says in his commanding fifty voice as he adjusts his tie. "You're eating for two now. No more granola and definitely no more meal skipping."

_Oh dear, _I think tiredly. _Is this what the next eight months is going to look like?_ He bends down to kiss me and I let him, however begrudgingly.

"You seem off, baby, what's wrong?" he asks more gently.

"It's nothing. I'm just tired today."

Christian stops just short of force feeding me a plate of pancakes and bacon. Once I've eaten to his satisfaction, I leave to collect my purse from the library.

Traffic is light this morning, so we end up pulling up outside GP just after 8:45.

"Are you sure you have to go back?" Christian asks me for the billionth time. "You know you don't have to." He looks positively adorable, pouting in his tailored grey suit and matching tie. I lean over and kiss his cheek. He looks like he wants to day something else, but he stays quiet.

"I want to," I remind him. "I'll be fine. I have Sawyer to protect me."

He frowns, but acquiesces. "Don't leave the building; Mrs. Jones packed you a lunch. Be safe. _Please_," he stresses.

"I will." I step out of the car and head for the main entrance.

IIIIIIIIIIIII

I'm walking back from Roach's office when Elizabeth stops me in the hallway. "Welcome back, Ana," she says kindly. "I heard about what happened with Jack. How are you doing?"

"I'm feeling much better, thank you," I say, giving her my stock response. Everyone I've run into this morning has asked me the same thing.

"Good," she says awkwardly. "Well I have a presentation at 2:00, so I'll leave you to your day."

I watch her disappear into her office. That was… _strange._

"There's a delivery for you in your office," Hannah says excitedly, distracting me. "It's from Mr. Grey." I smile and step into the office, my curiosity piqued.

Sitting on my desk is a crystal vase with a dozen red roses in it. Upon further inspection I notice that there is a handwritten note attached to the vase.

_Have a great first day back, Baby._

_Missing you already,_

_CTG_

I quickly log onto my computer and fire up my email.

**From:** Anastasia Grey

**Subject:** My Doting Husband

**Date:** September 6, 2011 12:17

**To:** Christian Grey

Thank you for the flowers. They're beautiful.

Anastasia Grey

Commissioning Editor, GP  
_

Smiling, I go back to my teetering pile of manuscripts.

**From:** Christian Grey

**Subject:** Very _Lonely_ Husband

**Date:** September 6, 2011 12:43

**To:** Anastasia Grey

You're welcome. My mother asked if we'd like to come over on Saturday for your birthday.

P.S. Have you eaten?

P.P.S. Don't overwork yourself.

Christian Grey

Lonesome spouse

CEO Grey Enterprises Inc.  
_

**From:** Anastasia Grey

**Subject:** Eating as I type

**Date:** September 6, 2011 13:30

**To:** Christian Grey

Dear lonesome spouse, I'm currently eating one of Mrs. Jones's delicious packed lunches, and catching up on manuscripts. So stow your twitchy palm. And yes, I'd love to go over on Saturday.

Missing you too,

Anastasia Grey

Commissioning Editor GP

IIIIIIIIIIIIII

I pull into the long gravel driveway of Christian's parents grinning from ear to ear. _My very own R-8!_ _And it's white, just like I asked. _"You have more money than sense, you know that right?" I tease Christian excitedly, who's sitting in the passenger seat. "I love it!"

He laughs and bends over to kiss me. "Happy birthday. We'll have to christen this one like we did mine," he adds suggestively. I blush at the memory.

I clamber out of the driver's side and close the door. Out of the corner of my eye, I see Taylor and Sawyer getting out of the SUV. Christian comes up behind me and places his hand on my lower back.

"Are you sure you should be wearing those?" he asks, eying my pair of heels warily. "I'd rather you wore something else."

I open my mouth up to retort, but the door opens to reveal a very excited Mia. "Happy birthday, Ana!" she says loudly, pulling me into a tight hug.

"Be careful, Mia," Christian warns. "She just got her cast taken off." In true Mia fashion, she just rolls her eyes and ignores him. I can't say I blame her. He's been hovering over me all week.

She tugs me into the living room. The next few minutes are a dizzying blur of hugging and birthday wishes.

"Happy birthday, kid," Ray says, patting me on the shoulder. "I'm glad you're okay." He looks over at Christian. "Why hasn't this guy been caught yet?"

Christian frowns. "He's a slippery bastard. Every time he makes a move, it's through someone else."

I walk over to Kate, stepping away from their conversation. _I don't want to think about Hyde,_ I say to myself. _Not today._

Kate promptly pulls me over to the fireplace, out of earshot. "How did the ultrasound go?" she asks quickly. "And how are things on the moneybags front? Is he treating you better? You never called me," she whines.

I roll my eyes at Christian's nickname. "Yes, we figured it out. And sorry for not calling you back, things have been hectic with Hyde and work and everything."

"How was the ultrasound?" she asks again. "What did your gyno say?"

"Seven and a half weeks," I whisper. She squeals excitedly.

"Kate!" I say, trying to calm her down.

"Are you going to tell everyone today? You'll start showing any day now."

I shake my head. "No, I want to wait a few more weeks."

I feel Christian step in behind me. "Kavanagh," he says icily.

She purses her lips. "Grey."

_Oh, these two are going to drive me up the fucking wall,_ I think suddenly irritated. I scowl at both of them. _Well, what did you expect,_ my subconscious goads. _She threatened to beat him with a baseball bat…_

I'm distracted from my morose thoughts, as well as my awkward company, by Grace's announcement that dinner is ready. Taking her cue, Kate stomps off to find Elliot.

"What's wrong?" he says, when he's sees the sour expression on my face.

"Later," is all I mutter.

IIIIIIIIIIIII

"I'm so glad you two are both alright," Grace says, striking up a conversation from across the table.

"Where was Taylor when all this happened?" Carrick asks chiming in. My forkful of orange and avocado salad freezes on its way to my mouth. _That's a good question._

Christian frowns and takes a sip of wine. "They were busy," he lies smoothly. "Welch found a trail, and I wanted all of the security team on it." I stay silent as Carrick, and then Ray, start to grill him on what happened.

"What I want to know, Annie, is what you were even doing at Kate's," Ray scolds me gently. "I'm with Christian on this. You should be taking time off work, and keeping your nose out of trouble until this guy's caught." To his credit, Christian manages to keep his smugness to a minimum.

"Yeah," Elliot says to Christian. "What the fuck were you two fighting about? When she got there, she was balling her- Ouch!" Kate slams down on his foot to shut him down. Christian scowls at him.

My cheeks flush, and I have the sudden urge to crawl into a hole somewhere. This is not at all how I imagined my birthday dinner. Christian and Kate hate each other more than ever, Ray's jumped on the ivory tower bandwagon, and now, thanks to Elliot, everybody knows we got into a big fight. We'll be lucky if Blip stays secret by the time dessert is served.

"Elliot Grey!" Grace scolds. "Language!"

I don't think I've ever been so happy to see Gretchen saunter into the dining room, carrying several trays of food. I can't see what's on them, but good-lord can I smell it. My stomach immediately starts to churn dangerously. My hand flies to my mouth and I gag. _Oh no. Oh no no._

Christian turns his attention back to me. "Baby?" I gag again. I push my chair back suddenly, and run for the bathroom. I'm going to be sick.

I can hear Elliot starts to laugh before I'm out of the room. "Jesus bro, what did you do, knock her up?"

As I said, we'd have been lucky if we made it to desert.

IIIIIIIIIIIII

Once I'm done heaving up the entire contents of my stomach into the toilet of the guest bathroom, Christian manages to coax me out to the living room- where our family is waiting to throw themselves all over us. I could kill Elliot and his big mouth right now…

Mia is the first one to notice Christian leading me in. "Is it true then?" She asks hopefully. The room goes silent. "You're pregnant?

I swallow back the lump in my throat, and nod shakily. "I'm almost eight weeks."

"I'm going to be an auntie!" she squeals loudly and pulls me into a tight hug. My stomach rolls at the sudden movement, but she quickly lets me go and moves to Christian.

Grace is the next person to speak up. "So soon, darling?" she asks Christian.

He shrugs. "It was a surprise to us too, mother. We were going to wait until Hyde was out of the picture," he shoots a death glare at Elliot, "before we said anything." Elliot manages to look at least a bit repentant.

"You sure know how to give your old man a heart attack don't you?" Ray says in disbelief.

I blush and hug him tightly. "Oh, Ray!"

He pats my back reassuringly. "You're growing up too fast, Annie." He glances at Christian who is watching him with a hint of apprehension. "You're lucky I like you so much," he adds dryly. "I have half a mind to throw you in the sound."

Even Carrick, much to my relief, is congratulatory, grinning from ear to ear and offering well wishes. It's a relief. I don't know what I was expecting to happen when we told everyone the news, but this is better than I could have hoped.

IIIIIIIIIIIII

CPOV

"You wanted to see me before I leave," I say, stepping into his office.

He nods quickly and closes the door behind me. "Yes. I didn't want to ruin everyone's good mood – but how are you planning to keep this quiet? If Jack Hyde finds out about this, Ana's going to be in even more danger."

I turn to face the window. "He already knows," I breathe, terror creeping into my voice.

**A/N: Duh duh duh. Review!**


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15

CPOV

I lean against the floor to ceiling window in the study, my forehead pressed against the cool glass. "We've narrowed down the leak to Dr. Martinez's office," Welch reports through the phone. "I'm still working on getting a name."

I slam my fist against the glass in frustration and walk back to my desk. "I want answers, Welch! _Names_! I want to know who they are, and I want to know how they're connected to Hyde. What progress have you made with the packages?"

"We did a thorough analysis on both, just like you asked. We found two sets of prints on the pacifier. I ran them through the database but I couldn't find any matches. But I was able to trace the lot number back to a dollar store on the corner of 4th and University street."

_Shit._ _That's only three blocks from here._ "Neither of the prints matched Hyde's?"

"No, sir. One of them was definitely female and the other was only a partial, but we found traces of formaldehyde on it." _Just fucking peachy. Now he has another accomplice._ I rub my forehead with my fingers. "There are also traces of sawdust on the… pair of women's underwear. I'd say were looking at someone in the construction industry." Ryan steps in and quietly waits for me to finish.

I grind my teeth together. That was the first of Hyde's _gifts,_ Anastasia's panties from the break in. There's no telling what the fuck he's been doing with them. "Are there any updates on his whereabouts?" I snap.

"No, sir. Whoever is hiding him, knows what they're doing. But I think we can narrow our search to construction and carpentry warehouses."

"Call me back in the morning with a report."

"Yes, Mr. Grey."

I hang up the phone and lean back in my chair. "What is it?" I ask tiredly.

"We got another one today while you were at Belleview, sir." He pulls a bright yellow envelope out of his jacket chest pocket and hands it to me.

I stare at it in my hands for a moment, taking in Hyde's familiar scrawl on the front._ If this man thinks I'm going to let him get away with trying to harass my wife like this…_ Just imagining how Ana would take this makes my heart constrict in my chest and sends a worrying shudder down my spine, because I know that eventually we'll miss one. It's inevitable. _When I find him, I'm going to kill him and dump his body where no one will ever find it, _I seethe. _Everything he tries to do to her, I will do to him._

There's an ordinary looking birthday card inside. _Birthday wishes for you on your special day. _ I open the card. Inside is a handwritten note:

There once was a hermit named Dave

Who kept a dead whore in a cave.

Dave said, "When they're dead,

They give lousy head.

But think of the money I save!

-Jack

P.S. I'll see you soon.

My stomach roils in anger at the unspoken threat. _Who kept a dead whore in a cave…_ I throw the letter on the desk disgustedly, when the crack whore comes to mind. Ana… Like that… No. No no no. I bury my face in my hands, trying to regain control of my raging emotions. _He knows I'm reading these…_ "When did this come?"

"With the evening mail," he replies. _Just like the others._

"Send it off to be analyzed by Welch in the morning. I want to know where this came from." I glance at the clock. _11:53_. "I'm going to bed," I say abruptly, standing up. I need to check on Ana. I need to make sure she's here, for real. "Let me know if there are any updates." He nods solemnly and tucks the offending letter back in his jacket.

I trudge upstairs, lost in my thoughts. _I'll see you soon_. What the fuck is that supposed to mean? Is he stepping up his game_? I'll have to move Prescott back on her_, I decide. _And I'll have to come up with a good excuse for it too_. It won't do for her to find out about any of this. My father's words from earlier ring in my head. _"I hope you know what you're doing, Christian. She won't be happy if she finds out you've been lying about this. Is it really worth risking that much?"_ I frown. I'd rather she and blip be alive and have her hate me.

Ana is curled up in bed, asleep, when I step into the bedroom. _Good. _She refused to admit it, but I know today took a lot out of her. I kick off my shoes and set them at the end of the bed before quietly undressing.

I can't let her find out about these letters; she's been through too much in the last month. And now with Blip… It's the only thing keeping her together_. This baby has given her more consolation than I have_, I think bitterly. _I promised to protect her, and to comfort her in times of need. But all I have to give are sweet nothings and lies_.

I slide under the covers and bury my nose in her hair. _Ana… _The smell is like a balm to my frayed nerves. She moans softly and nuzzles into my chest. _Formaldehyde. M_y brain toys with the word. _I'm missing a piece of this puzzle…_

IIIIIIIIIIIII

_Mommy! Mommy wake up. Mommy is asleep. She is cold. I'm thirsty. I go to the sink and drink water. It splashes on my blue sweater. I go back to mommy. She's still asleep. I sit down next to her and play with my cars. They zoom around her on the sticky green rug. I'm hungry. There are peas in the freezer. I eat them slowly. They hurt my tummy. I give some to mommy but she doesn't eat them. I hear the door bang open. He's here. _Oh fuck. That crazy fucked up bitch. That crazy fucked up bitch. Get out of the way you little shit!_ He pushes me. I hit my head. It hurts. _

_ I blink. I'm grown up. I sit up on the sticky green rug and adjust my tie unconsciously. How did I get here? I look next to me and recognize the familiar scene. It's the crack whore. She's dead. I stand up and step back to investigate. I walk a circle around her. Her clothes are different, much nicer than anything I remember. It's familiar. She's wearing Ana's purple dress. The crack whore's face morphs into Anastasia's._

_ "No!" I wail and fall to my knees. Her once bright and twinkling eyes look up at me lifelessly. "No! God no!" I pull her into my arms and rock her against me. I glance down and her belly is suddenly swollen. She's pregnant. _Blip_. I've lost them both…Ana! I cry hysterically. Not my Ana. My world is crashing around my ears. My Ana. I can't breathe. "NOOO!"_

_ "Christian," I hear someone call out to me. I pull her closer to my. She's limp and cold. "Christian, wake up."_

_ They're here. The police. They've come to take her away. No. Don't touch me. Stay away from her. Go away. Someone pulls her out of my arms. I scream. Not my Ana. Please. _

"_Christian."_

_Don't take her away from me! I open my mouth to call out her name as they drag her away from me, but the words are gone again. She's gone. My beautiful wife, the love of my life, the mother of my unborn child, she's gone. I'm alone again. I'm-_

"Christian!"

Consciousness hits me like a ton of bricks. I'm covered in sweat. I gasp for air, frantically looking around. Ana is sitting on top of me, holding down my shoulders. I blink. _She's here. She's alive... It was just a dream…_

"It's okay," she says soothingly, as if I were a spooked animal. "It was just a nightmare. It's over now." I pull her down and crush her against my chest. _She's alive, she's okay. It was just a dream._

"_Ana_."

"It's okay. I'm here."

_It was just a dream._ I flip her over and kiss her neck frantically; I need her. _Now_.

IIIIIIIIIIIII

"How are you feeling?" I ask stretching out my back as we lie in bed. Through the floor to ceiling windows, I can see the early morning sunrise glinting off the Seattle skyline.

Ana shakes her head slowly and nuzzles into the pillow. "Not good," she says weakly.

I frown. "Nausea?"

"Mmhmm."

"Go back to sleep baby." I kiss her forehead. "I'll wake you when I'm out of the shower." She nods tiredly and lets her eyelids droop. I have to admit, she looks adorable when she's sick. My groin twitches. _Stop that. It's bad enough you attacked her last night._ Guiltily, I roll over and get out of bed before I can dwell on last night's nightmare. I unplug my blackberry from its charger and take it with me – I don't want Ana to see anything on it. I don't think that she would go through it, but I can't take the risk.

I make a point of keeping my mind preoccupied in the shower. The morning has done nothing to change my bleak outlook on the Hyde situation. Welch may have narrowed down his location, but this is Seattle. There are still hundreds of places he could be hiding out. _There once was a man named Dave, who kept a dead whore in a cave…_

The bar of soap I'm holding slips out of my grasp and I bend down to pick it up._ Don't think about that. Focus on work, what do you have to do today?_ I start going through a mental list of meetings I have today. Ros is supposed to update me on the Taiwanese- I hear the jiggle of the doorknob and feet padding on the bathroom tile, followed by gagging noises. _Shit._ I scramble out of the shower and wrap a towel around myself.

Ana's bent over the toilet, throwing up again. _How is she supposed to eat anything if she just keeps throwing it up?_ I stand on my knees behind her and tie her hair up into a ponytail with a rubber band sitting on the counter.

"I don't want you going in to work like this."

"I'm fine," she says. "I feel much better now that I've-" I grimace as she starts to heave again.

I give her a pointed look once she's recovered. She's definitely not fine. I hand her a towel to wipe her face with. "Alright," she acquiesces weakly. "I'll call Roach."

"Just go back to bed, baby. I'll deal with him." I help her off the floor and lead her back to the bedroom. "I'm going to get ready for work and then I'll leave you to get some sleep, alright?" She nods tiredly and crawls back under the covers.

From the open bathroom door I can hear my blackberry start to ring. _That will be Welch's report._

**A/N: That very creepy limerick came off the internet, so I take no credit for it. Another one up, more to come. Review!**


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